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Being undecided

Sometimes I forget where I am… just kidding. I wake up every morning knowing where I am. Life is really different. I find myself having so much free time compared to last year. School would occupy seven hours of my day and work, rehearsals, and/or practices followed. Many people I knew were in the same position, working hard in order to get into college. But now that I’m here, I’m not sure what to do with all my time.

I joined a few clubs, only ones I was interested in, because everyone has warned me against joining everything. But for those who don’t know what they like, students without direction or a “why”, joining everything is the only option. Do not be mistaken, I’m not undecided because I don’t have a clue of what I want. I’m undecided because I could not pick between three majors I really want to study. I did not apply for this column because I liked writing, (I think that journaling and keeping track of goals and thoughts is critical for success) but because this column forces me to do that publicly; I really have to do my best.  Even if it is not published, everyone should record their ambitions and feelings. By making promises to your future self and reflecting on your past self, you’ll be able to improve and understand your present self. That was a quote, but from me.

Speaking of quotes, I was recently discussing with a new friend about a quote that defined me in high school. It goes, “Aim for the Moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” With this quote in mind, I fought drowsiness every night to do better, to do more. But then he told me something I never realized. “The stars are farther away than the Moon you know! It should be the other way around!” This week, I learned once again that I should have taken Physics in high school. Maybe I would have then known that the Moon is closer than any star. Maybe. More importantly, I decided that I should not blindly follow other people’s quotes. I think it’s okay, to use other’s quotes to get yourself to a place where you can make your own. But after some time, if you don’t question and adjust those quotes, you’re stagnant. Also, even if I thought I understood someone else’s words, what is the truth? Everything is subjective; I learned that in CAL 105. I like to think that the original author knew that the Moon was closer; maybe they thought like I did— that if one tries that hard and still misses their target, gravity will take care of them.

Writing this, I felt tempted to consider the average freshman. However, I know it is better to say how I genuinely feel. A lot of people are not like that, though. Many people doubt their feelings, especially those that reply “I don’t know,” when asked the meaning of something in English classes. They don’t know because for so long, “I’m cool with whatever” has been the right answer. They say they are “undecided in their mind,” when asked why they picked their major, and there is nothing wrong with that. I hope everyone will soon know what they want, though, and that they will fill their days doing things they like. It is easier to achieve results if that “why” is understood, and someone can identify what they are working for. That way, we’ll all be able to improve those ROI rankings that brought us here.

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