As classes end and this semester (finally) comes to a close, I don’t think I could be more happy. Overall, this semester has been my worst to date at Stevens, both academically and mentally. (Mom, if you’re reading this—don’t worry; it’s all good.) Why?
The main reason behind my slight drop in grades and the great increase in stress is because I’ve had a variety of negatives converge at once: from taking a leap of faith outside my comfort zone only to be burned to a consistent lack of motivation to perform well academically. Compound these components with the ever-present stress of preparing to find a job post-Stevens that all students feel, and you have a fairly large negativity clot impeding progress.
Why did I spend 122 words summarizing my woes for the past semester? To share what I’ve concluded as a result of this almost-over mess.
The credo I “live by” is simple, cliché, and, like all great credos, is in Latin: “Est quod est.” Translated, it simply states, “It is what it is.” Anyone who knows me knows that this is something I say a lot. In some ways it’s a way to escape mistakes made. In more important ways it’s a means to deal with those mistakes and the lingering albatross that is the past.
When I couldn’t finish computer science labs or homework and resigned to receiving zeroes, or felt the sting after hearing the undesired answer to a tough-to-ask question, I urged myself to shrug it off; it was what it was, and I couldn’t do anything to change the past results.
However, it’s not that easy. If I were to prescribe the advice of “it is what it is” to people struggling with any given problem(s), I’d be the biggest hypocrite in the world, because I am excessively over-analytical and tend to overthink nearly everything. Even when I know I should be shrugging something off, and I know I can’t do anything about it, I still obsess and open a dangerous realm of hypotheticals and worst-case scenarios that cause my mind to race until I’m overwhelmed by stress that I created.
Through all of the adversity I faced (and often times created) this past semester, adhering to “est quod est’ has helped me move from one failure to another opportunity. Granted, sometimes the disregard of a hardship bred complacency and laziness, perhaps even contributing to my frequent lack of motivation, but it did do one thing: opened me up socially and brought me closer to my friends. These successes far outweighed the comparatively minor setbacks that I faced and made me figure out what I value most.
It’s tough to not worry and fully let go of the past. It’s even more difficult to stay encouraged when you got knocked back. When everything is begging for your attention at ones, priorities need to be sorted and some things are not going to make the cut. At that point, you’ll realize what’s most important to you—and once you do, it’ll be much easier to move past your mistakes. After all, it is what it is.
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