(Satire)
Hoboken was once the site of many violent gang shootings. The Hoboken of the present, the one that many believe was founded solely to cater to young urban professionals, was only achieved through hard work led by the city’s past administrations. The new urban sprawl was paved over the slums of the early 1900s, and its dark history was to be forgotten.
Although there exists no traces of the gang wars in the Hoboken museum’s public website, plenty of negative energy is left over from generations past, shrouding Hoboken in a fog of despondency and unease.
This is a guide specifically for those who want to protect themselves from the ghosts of ‘Boken past and for those who want to break the fears that hold them down from achieving what they truly want.
First, some spices to either buy from your friendly neighborhood ShopRite or forage in the woods for: dried sage, fresh rosemary, cinnamon oil, and epsom salt. Each of these items has its own special property that wards off negative spirits and keeps an already healthy person mentally and physically sound. Sound mind, sound body, sound soul.
Dried sage is primarily used for a process known as “smudging”. As a food item, it is effective at treating loss of appetite, gas, stomach pain (Pierce), diarrhea, bloating, and heartburn.
As a smoking agent, dried sage is believed to ward away negative spirits, if not extinguish them entirely. For an inside area to be properly “smudged”, the burning sage must be emitting smoke and be wafted in front of building windows and doors. The supposedly purifying smoke of the burning sage is said to keep the user protected from negative energies that were persisting in the area.
Unlike sage, which must be dried in order to be effective, rosemary needs to still be fresh so that its essential oils are easier to access. Simply place a bundle of the herb under your pillow to ensure sweet dreams at night (or during the day.) The potent smell of the plant is apparently enough to drive away any nasty spirits.
Cinnamon oil is obtainable from ShopRite. The application is practical. Rubbing the oil on the chest, legs, and arms makes flu symptoms such as chills, achy joint pain, tense contracted muscles, and fatigue disappear quicker.
Epsom salt can be easily found at Kings or Rite Aid. When taking a bath, dissolve two cups of salt in the hot water. The least time needed in the bath for maximum effectiveness is 30 minutes. After soaking in the salt water for the recommended time, users report feeling de-stressed and that muscle cramps have faded away.
By collecting the listed items above and using them properly, the fog of unease will separate and eventually leave Hoboken entirely, for people have the power to create the world around them. Protection from negative energy means less stress, less pains, and more time spent feeling content.
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