Things I don’t quite get about Stevens

Dear Administration:
There are some things I do not quite get about Stevens. Like why we are trying to increase our admissions to new heights. Most people chose Stevens over others because it was a small school, one in which our experiences could be individualized without getting lost in the mix. I thought people went here to be alone – see the Palmer singles, and the speed at which they are snatched. However, as of late what really gets me is The Office of the Registrar. Going to my class only find out that it has been moved just before it starts feels like I am flying out from EWR and having my gate changed at the departure time on my ticket. At least there, my flight is delayed 3 times before I take off.
It’s not just the size of the room, but its location as well. I am a firm believer that all students in physics mechanics should have to go to the 7th floor Burchard classroom so that they can reach their full potential. However, I am a sensible man – instead of packing them all in there for lecture with 17 different sections, they can all have their turn. Each recitation is 100 minutes long (psst! Hey Registrar: that means that it takes up 2 hour slots on our schedule, not 1.5 hours) and this classroom’s primary purpose could be for just recitations. Yet there are still hours of the day it is not in use. Don’t forget Physics E&M which has recitation for 100 minutes as well, and 10 different sections – if we took all of those class hours combined it would book the room for almost the entire week. Registrar, you may send me a check for doing your job. No money orders please, I accept duckbills.
If only we find a way to use the mind power that Stevens has to some usage of engineering a solution or fixing the computer program that places classes and it class size to rooms. If only there was some innovation university that could do the job. Let’s just outsource it to the mailroom, at least they are able to sort and send mail out in a timely fashion.
Still looking for where my classes are,