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Slunk

No, this article isn’t about the past participle of the word “slink.” Partly because there’s not much to say about it, partly because I have something else that’s interesting to write about, but mostly because we go to a tech school and almost nobody really cares about grammar. So, what exactly is slunk? It’s a word that combines two words. It’s a word mash-up, which is actually called a portmanteau word. Surprisingly, this isn’t basketball slang for a “slam” and “dunk.” It’s a combination of the words “sleep” and “drunk.”

A lot of you may think that you’re familiar with the idea of “slunk.” But you’re probably only half correct. It is not a description for the tired and not-so-sober condition of a person. We have other words for that (just search around on Urban Dictionary). The word slunk characterizes a person who is so tired that they appear to be drunk, although the person has consumed no actual alcohol. Used in a sentence: I have been slunk for my entire college experience so far.

The causes of slunk-ness include classes, homework, laziness, and a social life. Basically, you waste too much time doing random things and then you have to stay up late completing the other items on your list in order to not fall behind on your life. People deal with being slunk by acting out in various manners. Personally, I get super silly. I become really giggly, and careless. I slowly become less aware of what I’m doing until I realize that I am not being productive at all and it is actually time for sleep.

One night, I got super slunk. I was beyond exhausted and I left a friend’s room to go to my room. But as I was about to push through one of the double doors, I heard the sink turn on in the bathroom. I thought, “Oh who else is up super crazy late? I’ll go see.” So, I walked into the bathroom and I saw a guy washing his hands in the sink. As I was about to yell at him for being in the wrong bathroom, I realized that I was still on the guys’ floor. Yes, slunk me is very stupid. It was super awkward and that’s when I realized that I should start turning down for some sleep.

People, if you have friends, please help them out when they’re slunk. Slunkness severely impairs your critical thinking. This is seriously a public service announcement to make sure you and your friends get enough sleep every night. Personally, I find eight hours to be overrated, but whatever it takes to keep everyone from getting too careless. The college life is a tiring one, but know your limits and how sleep deprived you can get before it’s too late and you end up confused and in the wrong place because you’re slunk as duck.

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