a meditation to make you closer to attilla the duck
imagine. you are attilla the hun. you die after many glorious decades.
Posts published in “Past Opinion Columns”
As classes shift towards being online, the Honesty Board has struggled to keep up with the times and is scrambling to catch those who are cheating from the comfort of their own homes.
On March 8, a petition was created by students that called for the Snevets administration to take action in light of the BUDLITE-19 pandemic.
“such class, very thought, omg” —The Stute staff
Due to BUDLITE-19, the May 2020 graduation has been postponed to the picosecond before the universe and time itself end.
In this picosecond, a whole lot will happen.
It is with a sad heart that we have to announce that yet another student has succumbed to the sweet siren call that is the budlitevirus.
These two icons have become the most popular celebrities on campus since their introduction at the beginning of the semester. That’s right; we’re talking about those big, beautiful cranes that are being used to construct the much-anticipated “University Towers.”
On December 10th, I took a risk I can say is the largest I have ever taken in my life.
I’m recovering from the flu, so I’ve spent more time than usual by myself lately, with odd ideas swirling around in my feverish brain.
In an act that many are referring to as “Footloose Part 2,” Stevens has canceled all fun on campus. In response to the rapidly growing coronavirus epidemic, all events with a predicted attendance above 50 people and any events expecting outside guests have been cancelled or are under review by the Stevens administration.