I am at a pretty interesting crossroads in my life, and I know that my current situation is not at all unique. So I believe that, at least for this topic, I speak on behalf of many seniors. I am nearing the end of the chapter of “college” in this “Book of Joe’s Life.” My many friends and colleagues will soon disperse into the working world and move on in their respective industries.
I always sort of imagined how that might work. I mean, it’s simple really: you get a job, and you work, and you build your wealth, contribute to society, and help yourself and your community into the future. That’s all good and dandy, but how do I actually do it? More specifically, want do I want? What do I want to do with my life? Where do I really want to be in ten years? What contributions do I want to make?
I have pondered and ruminated on these topics for the past decade waiting for a chance to move up in this world. And now, finally, it is time to make that decision. Yet, suddenly, I find myself wanting just a little more time to think.
I will be graduating with a Bachelor’s in civil engineering in May 2016, with about two years of experience as a site civil engineer from my co-op terms. I can do a lot with that. I could get into traffic and transportation and help reconstruct highways and the local roads that feed them. I could move into the domain of water resources and design new green infrastructure to assist in flood mitigation and groundwater replenishing.
Heck, I could go down a different path and focus in structural analysis and help construct large buildings and other pieces of infrastructure. I could go out further and work in construction management. Or, I could just go back to school and get a master’s degree in something! The possibilities are never-ending, especially due to my current proximity to New York City, where all sorts of different things are possible.
And this terrifies me.
There is no one holding my hand. There is no one telling what the “right” choice is. It is my life, my decision, and my future. And yes, that freedom scares the hell out of me.
What if I don’t like my job? What if my coworkers don’t like me? What if I get stuck doing the same stuff all day, and I don’t find it interesting? What if my commute ends up sucking? What if I wake up in 10 years, and realize I am not happy with where I am?
I would only be able to blame myself. And yes, that terrifies me. I am not just concerned with “just a job.” I know I’ll be able to get something. But I really, really have to start answering these difficult questions inside me to really hone in and isolate what my goals and aspirations are. I have answers, but I don’t know if they are ones that I will approve of now, tomorrow, and ten years from now. I used to worry incessantly about it, and people told me not to. “Too soon,” they’d say.
Well, yesterday’s tomorrow is now today, and my life’s future now rests on the decisions of the immediate moment.
We as seniors are all in this rut and burdened with loads of classwork and projects on top of it all. We all need to do ourselves a favor and take a good long moment to think about these questions, and help hone our paths to tomorrow.
There is no path but the one we carve for ourselves. Make sure yours is one you’re proud of, now and tomorrow.
