Back in high school, I came across this book by Jodi Picoult called The Book of Two Ways, and it remained on my “to-be-read” list until the day I came across it again at Symposia Community Bookstore and thought I’d finally give it a read. For those who know nothing about it, the story follows the protagonist, Dawn, as she lives out two versions of her life: one as an archeologist in Egypt, and another as a mother and death doula in New England. Throughout the book, she is faced with the dilemma of wanting to pursue a passion, but also wanting to return to the life that she had spent time building for herself. She is constantly trying to figure out what life she wants to lead, what she values, and what is her place in the world. Reading this book, you can’t help but also question the decisions you’ve made in the past, and wonder how they’ve led you to the place you are now — but what if you could’ve done something differently? Would you have done it? Are you content with the life you’re living?
The book opens with an airplane crash that, thankfully, everyone survives. Everyone on the flight is then given the opportunity to take a one-way flight anywhere in the world, and this is what starts the split of worlds for Dawn as she thinks about where she could go with this ticket. Reading this, I thought of my own life, as I related to the feeling of wanting to go out and live a new way of life a lot. Recently, I studied abroad in Hong Kong, and I remember during the first few weeks of the exchange I began stressing about the prospect of returning, thinking about how it’ll feel to be back in a place I’d always known. I would be returning to a life I’ve always known, and I felt like I had more to offer the world than what I could by staying there.
But, there is so much that comes with having a home. When you live abroad and people ask you where you live and where you’re from, it has always been very comforting to have one simple answer: here. This place comes up in almost every greeting, every story, every memory — I couldn’t be me without the life I’ve had up to this point. And, there are still so many things unfinished — I haven’t even gotten close to exploring all of Hoboken, seeing all of the national parks, finishing my degree, meeting all the people I haven’t met yet, and spending time with my parents as they get older — it was too soon to consider leaving for good.
Dawn has a similar realization throughout the book, where she needs to return to the life she had because that life made her who she was in that present moment, and there were things left unfinished — she had a daughter to be present for, a job and clients she cared for, and a husband who is also her friend.
Deciding what to do and what to value in life is daunting and personal. It is important to travel, to dream big, to try new things, and lead a life embracing your ambitions. However, it is also so beautiful to be able to plant roots in a place, and to have a place to call home, and those you love beside you. There is beauty in that duality, and in the human experience of never being certain with the life you’re leading, but always having the opportunity to change it and try something new. I applaud this book for exploring the nuances of this struggle most readers have faced or will face at some point in their lives. And to those who struggle with feeling like they are living a life they are not proud of, I hope maybe reading this or reading the book reminds you that you aren’t alone and to trust yourself to make the decisions you need to make.
Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think or what this made you think about, my email is mmeents@stevens.edu, I would love to hear from you!
Until next time,
Maya
