I have been the most sappy, nostalgic version of myself recently. I know it has to do with graduation quickly approaching and all of the beginning-of-the-ends starting up. Music has a deep, almost mystical power to transport us back to a specific point in time. I recently rediscovered a playlist of mine that I created last May during a time of formative turmoil in my life. It was the culmination of personal conflicts and chaotic occurrences, so being who I am, I created a cleverly named playlist in which I will not share the title because it requires a lot of context. Just know it is very funny.
Here are three songs I found that transported me back to last year:
The first song is “The Neighborhood” by Grace Enger. I discovered Grace’s music on TikTok during my sophomore year. I was scrolling, and one of her songs caught my attention. I posted a cover of it, which she saw and commented on! It was a very exciting moment. Anyways back to this song, it’s such a classic for me. She sings about how she thought she would be over a certain situation after a certain amount of time, but she was still working through it. I think we can all relate to this feeling. It’s like wishing you were over something because enough time has gone by, but you’re still in the thick of it. It’s such a vulnerable confession to make, and I think that’s why I love this song so much. It reminds me that healing isn’t linear, and there is no timeline to getting back to yourself.
The next song is quite the opposite. It is called “Free Now” by Gracie Abrams. Similar first names, but totally different messages. This song completely takes me back to junior year, like wow. I think of this song as a retrospective diary entry. It comes from an all-knowing point of view. It is the feeling of seeing a person and a situation for what it truly is. The build-up to the end captures the unexpected feeling of release. From a totally removed place, Gracie isn’t sad anymore, she’s wiser, maybe still a little achy, but she’s better now. Free, if you will.
This last song has been on repeat for me recently. Whether walking to class or going for a run, I’ve been reaching for this song first. “Weird” by Hana Eid is a song I found last year. I added it to every one of my playlists, played it too much, so I got too used to it, stopped listening to it, and found it again! That is typically what happens when I like a song too much — I play it on repeat until I can’t anymore. Anyways, to me, this song speaks to the idea of wanting someone to want you without you actually wanting them. I’m not sure if that makes any sense, but it does to me. It is like acknowledging that you want someone so bad to like you and to want you and all of those things, while knowing deep down that it’s not for the right reasons. I could probably write an entire article about this song and its significance, but I’ll refrain.
The cool thing about music is that the music itself will remain the same, but its meaning and impact is constantly changing — and I think that is beautiful.
