There are no words to describe the emotions I have been feeling this week.
I was speaking with a friend of mine this past weekend, and I told him without a second thought, “I am different from the way I used to be.” And I cannot stop thinking about how easily those words rolled off my tongue. I did not mean the statement negatively, simply truthfully, I am different.
Only just one year ago, I took over The Stute. I was more afraid than I would admit to anyone. I had a four-hour-long transition meeting that took two days to complete, in which I tried not to expire on the spot. I had a few ideas of what I wanted my version of The Stute to look like, but no idea how to begin. I was similar to a doe-eyed lost puppy.
The first minor board meeting that I directed, I had spent two hours rehearsing. I was running back and forth between the bathroom and the office because I thought I was going to vomit from the anxiety of it all. I had called my older sister in tears, panicking, telling her I could not breathe at the thought of entering that glass room with everyone staring at me. By the time I entered that meeting, my hands were sweating, my face was bright red, and my eyes were a little swollen from the tears.
The first General Body Meeting (GBM) I hosted, I begged my entire friend group to show up. I made sure that we had catered some Mamoun’s Falafel so we would have an attendance of at least five people. I remember leaving the meeting impressed because we had a grand total of 15 people show up, and I was not forced to give a presentation to an empty room.
The first issue I created with my e-board was The Stupe 2025. Unfortunately, I also faced my first hate emails, hate comments, and hate Instagram DMs that week. I believed every criticism at The Stute was a direct shot at me. It was only an alumnus, Chris Candreva, Managing Editor ‘90, who changed my perspective on the issue. He said, “If you don’t piss people off enough at least once so they steal the papers, you aren’t doing your job!” Thanks, Chris.
I look back, and I cannot help but smile and cry at the thought of it all. I was afraid, but knew with time, I would be able to be the person and Editor-in-Chief I wanted to be.
My team and I were able to organize opinion columnists’ headshots, e-board headshots, new GBM themes, additional food at events, 40+ new staff members, new collaborations with other organizations, creative layouts for the News and Feature section, an inclusion of more National News in our front page, advertisements from local establishments, and the first-ever Alumni Gala hosted by The Stute.
This year also brought the first-ever all-women e-board.
I’m no longer bouncing around Stevens, wondering where I belong. I feel settled. I’ve accomplished something freshman-year Jiya only dreamed about. I think she would be proud of me.
Because, right now, I am proud of me too.
Freshman year Jiya dreamed of being the Editor-in-Chief, but I lived it. This position has taught me so much about myself, from my work ethic to how I need to decompress after a long, mentally exhausting day.
If I had the chance, I would relive this year again. I would take the anxiety, the stress, the long nights, but also the laughter, the friendships, and the moments that made it all worth it.
I am different. But I am exactly where I wanted to be. Thank you for letting me be your Editor-in-Chief this year.
