I know, I know, you missed The Stute Editorial last week. My apologies, I have the immune system of a walnut and was rotting away while studying for final exams. Today, Wednesday, December 10, was my last exam! I feel so relieved, and as I sit in the Stute Office, I have begun reflecting on this semester.
As you know, I say it every Editorial, being Editor-in-Chief is an intense role. These past few weeks have been difficult trying to get the newspaper out every Friday. I would walk into this office with so much weight on my shoulders, terribly aware of all the other tasks I could be doing other than Stute work. Today is the first day I have walked into this office with a genuine smile on my face in the last three weeks.
This is not to say I have not enjoyed the last three weeks of production; they have simply been more difficult than normal. With all of my school assignments, The Stute felt more like a burden than a relief. In the only way I can think of articulating, I hated myself for loving this so much because I know if I did not put my best foot forward, I would have nobody else to blame for subpar results other than myself. I was upset at myself for wanting to print a newspaper I was proud of and find time to also be an excellent student.
Stress that comes along with being a student is unlike any other kind. Everything you love becomes a task on a checklist, and you are unable to sit and enjoy your time. Let’s just say I was constantly running around, and now that I am not anymore, I can stop and smell the flowers.
Needless to say, I am so excited for this week’s issue! It is the last one of the semester, and I promise you it will be my favorite one. I plan on testing my layout abilities, playing around with the front page, blasting house music until my ears fall off, and reading the Pulse and giggling at the responses.
Originally, I felt so guilty for resenting my job these last few weeks. I kept thinking, “How will I possibly get through next semester?” and “How do I expect to be good at my job if I absolutely hate it?” There is a lot to unpack in those questions, and I will spare you the details. But what I can say is that I do love my job, I just continuously fall in and out of love with it.
If you have read my past editorials, you know I have spoken about the “lessons” that I am forced to learn each week. I believe this is one of them. I cannot seriously believe that every past E-board member has loved every minute of their job. Sometimes the stress becomes too much, and if you are anything like me, you want Wendy’s, TV time, and a cozy blanket instead of having to sit up and pump out a whole newspaper.
I have realized that falling in and out of love with The Stute will forever be a battle I face. This week, I have won. I cannot wait to give it everything I have and rock out to my 2010 jams on the Stute speaker. But I cannot be too hard on myself when the work on my plate piles up, and I find it hard to enjoy the little things.
So I pat myself on the back, and I am back at it again. Every time I fall out of love with The Stute, I fall right back in love, remembering exactly why I am here in the first place. To anyone that’s reading this, remember, there is a light at the end of the tunnel; those finals won’t kill you, I promise. And all of a sudden, you will feel a new appreciation for everything around you once you are out of finals mode. Happy Holidays Stuters, I will see you next semester.
