The fall semester has always been my favorite because of Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Hoboken truly goes all out with decorating, and the city turns into an ornate and adorable village that could be straight out of a movie (and sometimes is with all of the filming that happens here). However, I scarcely get to enjoy the holidays in Hoboken with the chaos of finals and millions of to-dos needed to close out the year.
When reflecting on my time at Stevens in the two-week finals period of December, I remember staring at my dorm room wall, pleading with formula sheets to carry me through exams. I remember rushed gift exchanges with friends and celebration dinners carefully slotted into packed schedules.
Now, as I write this on December 4, I have turned in my last assignment, and I actually have no finals. Let me tell you, this feels weird and almost ominous. Since I am an RA, I have to stay on campus until December 21, so what will I do during the next 17 days, especially when everyone else is busy? I am usually the busiest one in my social circles, taking on a plethora of campus commitments and side hustles. For the past semester, however, I have been slowly offloading responsibilities in preparation for an exceptionally not-busy spring senior semester. I have no more e-board positions, just finished an intense internship, and finished applying to grad school. All that lies before me are 12 filler credits for the spring, meant to keep me as a full-time student.
This is extremely frightening. I have never been confronted with this much free time before. Will I read the stack of ten books sitting next to my bed that I have dodged for the past three years? Will I finally advance my limited crochet skills (I can really only make a square)? Will I finally write the poems I have outlined in my head? Free time makes me more unproductive than a packed schedule. Not having a clear list of to-dos causes me more anxiety than a clear Canvas page because I can’t use a formula to organize my free time.
I have decided to prioritize my inner child, and take these two weeks in the Holiday hubbub of Hoboken to truly have fun. I am going to stop at every Holiday light display and stare in wonder, and order every themed drink from every local coffee shop despite the egregious prices. Maybe I will venture to the Bryant Park Christmas Village more than once, and formulate side quests throughout the city, only guided by wonder and whimsy. Dare I sit down and watch a movie, all the way through, and actually pay attention?! Perhaps I will get that crazy. This will be my “training period” for the spring, as I unlearn the intense rigor that I have confronted in all aspects of my education. This spring, I promise myself that I will simply be a person, a person who can see the value of taking a break and celebrating her accomplishments.
