Earlier this past week, I had to write an essay (the horror!). I know, I am a literature minor, and I knew I would have to face this hurdle sooner or later. Contrary to popular belief, I hate writing. I’ve always focused more on the operations side of the Stute due to my aversion.
Besides the point, I wrote a lazy essay about The Ghost Story, which received a subpar grade. The Ghost Story is a near-silent film in which Casey Affleck acts as The Ghost, wearing an actual sheet on his head. Even though I found the movie to be extremely uneventful, the movie spoke volumes without having any dialogue. The Ghost spent his time wandering for years until he realized that to move on, he would need to find the last piece of what made his life meaningful. For The Ghost, it was a note his wife left him. The whole point was to prove that the meaning behind life is found in the people and things you love. We spend our entire lives wanting, fighting, running, but never stop to look around and appreciate what we have around us. Life is about loving and sitting back and enjoying the small things.
Although I hated the movie and it was the biggest waste of an hour and a half imaginable, I kept thinking about it. For reference, my sister is getting married this week. As her Maid of Honor, I’m writing a speech to reflect on the past and express my wishes for their future. You would think as Editor-in-Chief, I would know how to write an Earth-shattering, heartfelt speech — I don’t. Up until today (Tuesday night), I have been worrying about everything else — The Stute, my homework, the quiz I will miss, the midterm I forced myself to take, my internship applications…and I just had to stop. This was what The Ghost Story was talking about — my sister is getting married and I won’t even allow myself to process it, let alone write the speech.
It’s crazy because I use my sister’s wedding as an example, but I also think about it in a Stute lens. I have been Editor-in-Chief for eight months, and although I have enjoyed every bit of it, I have not savored it. I spend so much of my time thinking ahead, it’s my job after all, but I think I took it too literally and started applying it to other areas in my personal life. I look at the Stuters before me and the memories they hold, and my biggest fear is looking back and thinking I didn’t make the most of it.
I have let my Stute life escape from me, and I am all too aware that life keeps moving forward even when I don’t want it to. I used to spend hours in that office gossiping, giggling, eating, layout-ing, but I fear I have not been doing any of that lately. The process has been very official, and I miss a bit of the informality and the friendships. Instead of being in the main area, I have been in the internal office, and I think that is the culprit. I walked out of the internal office, into the main area, and saw my Layout Editor, Eiliyah, with her friends, and it made my heart wrench. Those were the best days, but things became a little more serious, and I just let life happen to me.
Even though I say I hated The Ghost Story, it must have been an actually phenomenal movie if it has me thinking this deeply about my life. Like The Ghost Story, what you love and who you love make up the meaning of life. So I guess it’s time Editor-in-Chief Jiya gets out of her hole and into that main office area. It is time to start making new memories before the time slips away from me. Gosh, what a terrible movie.
