Some of you may be wondering, what is the point of landscaping? And to that point, I also ask what is the point of landscaping? Half of Snevets is dead grass and pavement, however, we must not take for granted the little pieces of greenery that this tiny, private, New Jersey school has to offer.
When it is warm out, all of the lawns get packed very quickly as most Snevets students either go to Palmer Lawn, outside Schaefer, or to the little island in between MPK and Davis, but there is one more lawn that goes untouched: EAS. Why is that? Well for one, there is nothing to do there, the most action that lawn saw was in 2024 when the solar eclipse happened but even then, we weren’t allowed on the lawn. So how can we turn this empty lot into a third space for students?
Trim her bushes. Add more greenery. She is already on her last legs and it’s like two degrees of separation of Nosferatu coming by and moving in. This building needs a revamp outside of it to help students destress. If we make the lawn go bald, for some reason, it’d make the steeple look taller and scarier than it already does. EAS already isn’t a favorable building because of how hot it gets inside, the stairs that are at an angle, the slow elevator, and it being a far point for students so adding more to the outside is just what the old and decrepit building needs.
Let’s give Erwin A. Snevets a landing strip of bush to zhuzh her up a bit. We could add some tables, add some benches, and that empty lawn is slowly going to grow a beautiful bush of students. Snevets students need to touch grass and the perfect way for them to do that is to give them more space to touch grass that is secluded from the main part of campus.
Disclaimer: This article is part of The Stupe and is satire.
