Tis the season for warm sweaters, jovial gatherings, and of course, festive music. For many, walking around stores with frenzied family members is relieved with the joyous music that plays on the speakers, but there is one song that some people would do anything to avoid… “Last Christmas” is a song originally recorded by pop duo Wham and played over 5 billion times since its original release in 1984. What members George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley didn’t know was that the song they created would cause a phenomenon called “Whammageddon.”
Last Christmas is a song about heartbreak during the holidays, with a playful synthesizer and dramatic vocals, 4 minutes and 11 seconds in length. Its chorus, “Last Christmas I gave you my heart, but the very next day you gave it away, this year to save me from tears, I’ll give it to someone special,” has become incredibly recognizable and loved by many. However, for some, hearing those words is a nightmare. For those participating in the game Whammaggeddon, hearing those words means they have lost.
Whammaggeddon starts December 1st, with the goal being to get to December 25th without hearing it. This survival challenge seems easy but becomes impossible as December passes. No one is safe from “Last Christmas”; every public space, social gathering, or TV commercial marks dangerous territory. Want to watch a holiday movie? Hang out with friends? The answer would be yes, but in the times of Whammageddon, simple things like watching movies and socializing come with great risks. The rules of the game are to progress through December without hearing the pop duo’s Christmas breakup ballad. Those participating in the game must go as long as possible without hearing it and are out the second the song is recognized. However, there are exceptions to covers and remixes, according to the official Whammageddon website.
Whammaggeddon can be a very sensitive time for those participating, so as a friend of someone playing the game, it can go many ways. While it is advised not to purposely send your friends Wham on purpose, it can be fun to put them in dangerous Wham-likely situations. I am personally a big believer in setting deliberate Wham traps, doing a little foreshadowing, and then WHAM… it’s Wham. That seems pretty fair to me, and opportunities like that can be pretty creative. I’ve also noticed the song is unavailable to play at Pierce dining hall. Could this be Whammaggeddon-related? I personally am a Wham enjoyer by day and Wham torturer by night. I can always be found in the queue, prepared to reap a few souls for Whammaggeddon.
For those participating in Whamaggeddon, you’re almost there; stay strong. Listen to all your other music and be as jovial as possible. Maybe even enjoy all of the covers and remixes possible of “Last Christmas” and take advantage of them. Remember to carry emergency earplugs for those last-minute shopping days at the mall when you aren’t quite sure what will end up playing on the radio. Try not to develop trust issues with your friends and always stay one step ahead; keep an eye out for those pesky Wham traps. Remember that even though the fear of Whammageddon is real, it is just a game, so don’t let it get in the way of enjoying the Holidays. Don’t plan on going solo this Holiday season; enjoy time with friends and family. Don’t be careless. You’ve gotta have faith that you’ll make it through Whammageddon. In the long run, this year’s Christmas will be next year’s “Last Christmas,” so make it a good one!
