You know, I was going to write an article about cutting-edge research, but I got to thinking, what the hell is a “nano”particle? Particles are already tiny as all hell. Why do we have to slap nano in front of some of them? I, for one, think the smaller particles are probably more functional anyway. They say bigger particles don’t even fit into most compounds very well. I mean, really, we are going to cut hairs over a couple of nanometers? If we were to look at the bigger picture, all particles might as well be at the same scale to us humans. That means all particles are pretty much the same.
Now some size queens will tell you, “Oh, no you can see some larger particles with the naked eye, you need a microscope to even know nanoparticles are there.” I call bullshit. I say it’s all these science videos all over the internet nowadays creating unrealistic expectations for particles. You know, back in the day, you could only find real, good science in magazines. That was the good stuff, unlike this high-value, flashy production stuff you see nowadays. I swear, people go to the extremes nowadays just for a few clicks. Next thing you know, you have everybody thinking that material is representative of the MAJORITY of particles.
Shit, once you get past 1,000 or so nanometers, those “particles” are practically their own living things entirely. Honestly, it’s disgusting. I’d say the Greeks had the right idea. That guy Democritus knew particles ought to be SMALL, imperceptibly so even. Anything else is quite frankly just a perversion and an affront to science. “Nano”particles probably have better personalities anyway, you sick fucks.
Disclaimer: This article is part of The Stupe and is satire.
