Acts of service: helping your loved one out when they’re in need by doing something for them.
Quality time: spending time with your loved one, even if it’s just saying nothing at all.
Receiving gifts: when your loved one gives you gifts and you know they were thinking about you when they got it.
Words of affirmation: when a loved one tells you they love and appreciate you, and compliment your characteristics.
Physical touch: when a loved one hugs or kisses you, or even just holds you or briefly touches you.
First of all, what are love languages? Many psychologists have written about the “five love languages”: acts of service, quality time, receiving gifts, words of affirmation, and physical touch, and many people have simply accepted these as fact. Now, psychologists are saying that there are more than five love languages and that many people don’t even have a primary one. Some researchers believe there might even be seven: activity (when their loved one joins them in a hobby they enjoy), appreciation (similar to words of affirmation), emotional (being there for a loved one in hard times), financial (when a loved one spends money on them), intellectual (when their loved one truly understands and connects with them), physical (similar to physical touch), and practical (similar to acts of service). This is more of an “updated” version of the love languages, but that doesn’t make the first five unimportant, either.
Second of all, why are they important? Love languages can still help someone know what they want from someone they love, further improving their relationship and getting a better understanding of each other, but just because two people have a love language in common doesn’t mean the relationship will exactly succeed. Knowing what the person you love loves can help build your relationship with them, as you are giving them what they need in a relationship. Listening to your partner is the best way to figure out what love language they like and how to appreciate them best in ways that they will love. Love languages aren’t even just between partners! You can love your friends or family members in these ways, too, so that they know how much you care about them. So, whether or not love languages are real or not, they can help you figure out how to make your partner or loved one happy.
Overall, whether or not you think love languages are real, they have lots of benefits in any relationship you have, and can help build empathy because many people you love might “speak” a language you don’t know, and you have to learn to step out of your comfort zone a bit to be able to make them happy. Being able to communicate effectively with your partner is an important part to be able to maintain in a relationship, and love languages can help with that. They’re easy to remember and even easier to do, especially if you truly do care deeply about someone. In the end, it doesn’t really matter what love language you have as long as you are vulnerable and compassionate with the people you love, and the love will speak for itself.
