Everyone is afraid of something. Fear is involuntary. It’s something we can’t control. With fear comes its little annoying brother: worry. Since we can’t control what scary things will cross our path, a lot of people tend to worry about the scary things they might face.
I have a friend — let’s call him Jack. Jack is very smart. Jack is very studious, and he gets good grades. When it comes to tests and essays, Jack always gets a perfect score. However, he is absolutely terrified of public speaking. He cannot present without shaking like a madman, and he spends most of his days leading up to the presentation freaking out for no reason.
Jack and I were in a class last semester. Every week, we were required to give presentations, and every week Jack would worry about his presentation and how bad it would be if he messed up and looked stupid in front of the class. The first week in particular, Jack worried a lot.
“Dude, there’s so much I need to cover. What if I forget something? What if I go up there and fall down? What if I go up there and I choke on my spit and cough up a lung in front of everyone? What if the teacher interjects and I lose my train of thought? What if I stumble? What if I focus too much on eye contact and forget what I’m saying? What if my hair is messed up? What if my fly is undone? What if I just look stupid?”
At this point, hearing Jack ramble about all of the things that could go wrong started making me anxious and less chipper. I could tell he was pretty miserable and on top of it all, he was getting nothing done.
I said to him, “Jack, no matter how much you worry, you still have to present. I know presentations make you feel uncomfortable, but it’s something you will have to do for the rest of your life and worrying about it now won’t make you feel better later.”
He looked at me with a puzzled expression. Then he looked at his laptop and started typing. For the next hour, Jack put together his presentation. On presentation day, I asked him how he felt and he said, “I’ve done what I can, we’ll see how this goes.” He was clearly scared, but he wasn’t panicking like he used to, and that made me chipper.
By the end of the semester, Jack worried much less about public speaking. He realized worrying about the presentation didn’t help him research. It didn’t help him put together his slides. It didn’t even help him become a better presenter. He couldn’t control what he was afraid of, but he could control what he did to prepare, and worrying surely did nothing.
Main message:
Fear is inevitable. Since fear will always happen and we can’t control it, why should we worry about it? Worrying is pointless, counterproductive, and it only makes you more miserable.
Happy Halloween!
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