Unless you’ve met me before on campus and had a long conversation with me, you wouldn’t know that occasionally I stutter. It’s not often, but if you talk with me enough, it’ll happen. I usually never explain it to people because, well, it basically never happens. But once I got settled here on campus and college was starting, I noticed that I was stuttering more frequently than I ever was, and by the third day of orientation I started to have to explain to my peers that I stutter sometimes.
Not only was I struggling to get words out of my mouth, but I also found myself becoming uncomfortable talking to new people I met during orientation. I had never thought that I would have to tell people that I stutter sometimes, and I especially wasn’t familiar with having to deal with it in front of new friends. I found myself not talking as much as I had wanted to because I was afraid of stuttering and not being able to “get the words out right.” I even minimized how often I spoke to avoid the fear of being judged about the way I was speaking. I was afraid of asking questions during orientation events because I knew in my mind that I was going to mess up the words. A part of me was upset at myself for not using my voice, but in the moment I was convinced that I was protecting myself from judgement by others.
But that’s where I went wrong. Whether I stutter or not, my voice is important. I had to remind myself that it’s dangerous to let fear weigh me down and even choose my decisions for me. I know that it’s easier to say this than to actually do it, but perfection shouldn’t be your end goal. You can’t beat yourself up over failures even if you know that you could’ve done better. One of my favorite quotes was written by Robert Frost: “The best way out is always through.” Let it be a reminder that in order to succeed, you must go through failure.
Soon my stuttering won’t happen as often since it’s most likely a result of stress from the transition to college, but it isn’t gone forever. There will be days when I can talk clearly, and there will be days when I will struggle. All that’s important is to keep working at not letting this challenge overpower my decisions or my routine. We all must work on being brave because allowing fear to create barriers for you only adds fire to the already burning flames. With bravery comes success, but it takes practice. So in addition to your textbook readings and lab assignments, add bravery to the top of your to-do list. With practice comes change, and every day is a step closer to overcoming your struggles.
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