After a series of unfortunate events, Snevets Fencing has faced a permanent ban from Snevets campus. All fencing faculty members have also been fired.
“Fencing is a disgrace to our campus,” said President Narfarvar. “Aside from the physical harm of stabbing someone, there is also the mental abuse of someone forcing you to stab someone. It’s amazing that we have allowed fencing on Snevets campus for this long.”
Unsurprisingly, most of the fencing staff and team members were disappointed by the change. “I love to fence, but I understand the change,” said Carrie Long, captain of the women’s fencing team. “I’ve fenced for nearly four years at Snevets now, and its ending is bittersweet. There were some underlying problems that needed to be addressed.” Long declined to comment on these underlying problems. One of them could be the fencing team’s poor record — they have not won a single out-of-conference match for the past few years.
“I don’t understand the change at all,” said Jared Soars, a member of the men’s fencing team. “Our team is perfect, our dynamics are perfect, our record is perfect, everything is perfect. It must’ve been something on the other fencing team, damn it.”
Coach Lana Hawksmoor declined to comment to the Stupe reporters. However, one reporter noted that she slipped an angry letter underneath the door of President Narfarvar’s house. The exact wording of the letter is unknown.
Snevets administration has stated that the ban will begin at the beginning of the Fall 2018 semester. Additionally, all Fencing P.E. classes have been canceled, and no credit will be given for fencing courses taken in the past. All students who have previously graduated taking fencing must return immediately, otherwise their Snevets degree will be rendered invalid.
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