We’re a month into the fall semester, and I’m already tired of answering these three questions. “What’s your name?” “What’s your major?” “Where are you from?”
These are three questions I’ve been asked the most since starting college, and I’m exhausted by them.
There’s nothing wrong with these questions. They make sense. When you meet someone for the first time, you need something to talk about, and asking their name is probably a good place to start. But after answering the same three questions over and over, it starts to feel less like a conversation and more like I’m filling out a survey.
“What’s your name?”
“Chrystiella.”
“What’s your major?”
“Cybersecurity.”
“Where are you from?”
“Newburgh, New York.”
And then comes the awkward pause where we both have to figure out what to say next.
Saying “Cybersecurity” usually leads to the same follow-up: “Are you going to hack my computer?”
Then there’s the question of where I’m from. Newburgh, New York usually gets me a blank stare or a “Where’s that?” After explaining where it is more times than I can count, I’ve started saying “upstate New York” instead just because it’s easier.
I understand why these questions are so common, especially during the first few weeks of college. Everyone is meeting dozens of new people at once. You’re trying to remember names, majors, hometowns, and somehow recognize them when you see them again.
But after a while, everyone starts sounding like robots.
“What’s your name?”
“Where are you from?”
“What’s your major?”
“What dorm are you in?”
It feels like there’s an unofficial freshman script that everyone follows.
I’ve started wondering why we don’t skip the basics sometimes. Instead of asking someone where they’re from, why not ask what they’ve been watching lately? Instead of asking their major, why not ask what music they listen to? Instead of asking what dorm they live in, why not ask what the most random thing they brought to college is?
Those questions actually tell you something about the person.
If someone tells me they’re from New Jersey, I know where they’re from. If they tell me they’ve watched the same show five times, I have something to talk about.
Maybe the problem isn’t the questions themselves. They’re just the easiest questions to ask when you don’t know someone yet. And when everyone around you is also trying to meet people, it’s easy to fall into the same routine.
I’ve definitely done it too. I’ve asked people their names, majors, and where they’re from. Sometimes I realize halfway through a conversation that I’m basically asking the same questions I’ve already answered ten times that day. At this point, I’ve probably asked “What’s your major?” to enough people to know that Stevens has a lot of Mechanical Engineering majors.
Maybe we should start asking better questions. Not deep questions or anything that feels like an interview. Just something a little more interesting.
What’s your favorite movie? What do you do when you’re bored? What’s something you’re weirdly good at? What’s the best thing you’ve eaten since getting here?
I’d much rather find out that someone has a completely useless hidden talent than find out where they’re from.
So if you meet me on campus and you’re trying to start a conversation, you can still ask my name.
Just maybe skip the other two.
