Valentine’s Day feels like the most confusing holiday. It juxtaposes superficial acts of endearment and very traditional, healthy methods of courageous intimacy in a way that’s both condescending and admirable. It makes you wonder if it truly inspires endearment or betrays the secrecy of affection. For many, it becomes an unwelcome reminder that—yet again, or painfully unlike last year—their time will be spent without romance, excitement, or certainty of a relationship. Simultaneously, everybody in the world seems to be on social media flying to Paris to make out under the Eiffel Tower as a firework display somehow goes off in perfect unison. The romance feels artificial. If love is genuine, shouldn’t it be secretive or in consistent and ordinary displays of thoughtfulness, rather than singular extravagant gestures? Thus, Valentine’s Day seems to set a very unrealistic expectation for how we outwardly convey affection, both in and out of relationships. As a result, the unattached feel further isolation and resentment — even though they shouldn’t. Ultimately, how others choose to celebrate their devotion to one another is fully their choice; it has nothing to do with your life or how you choose to approach relationships. Still, the commercial nature of Valentine’s Day will always impose this odd necessity for lavish affirmation as proof of commitment. In contrast, art offers a healthy medium to explore both traditional and novel approaches to both romance and solitude, especially in an era where technology has further warped our perspective of devotion and intimacy.
Pierre-Auguste Renoir, a renowned French painter from the 19th century, best illustrated the meaning of devotion and companionship through his impressionist pieces. While Renoir portrayed a variety of subjects ranging from landscapes to pets, his focus on Parisian leisure evoked a uniquely unpretentious sense of whimsy. This complemented his intimate scenes of couples well. In most scenes, couples are either dancing, walking together, or simply enjoying each other’s company. Renoir’s portrayal of affection is subtle, yet easily elucidated by a couple’s reaction to one another. There’s a certain charm in the youthfulness of these interactions, even though oftentimes most subjects were likely in their late twenties or older. The gestures of intimacy are simple and isolated — the couples are typically the only subjects in each scene, intensifying the mysterious intrigue of their connection. The passion evoked by these interactions is outstanding, despite the modesty of their gestures. While Renoir shows us the intrigue of love through these scenes, he also seems to intentionally convey the importance of boundaries. In certain dancing scenes, such as Dance at Bouvigal, the female subjects avert their eyes or don’t grab onto their male counterpart as tightly. As a viewer, there is certainly a discomfort in this, and you are instantly reminded of virtue in pursuit and the importance of consent. Ultimately, Renoir suggests that lasting affection is defined not by spectacle, but by restraint, mutual regard, and simplicity.
Despite the common adoration of Renoir’s subjects, he also illustrates that true romance isn’t infallible. Unfortunately, many relationships end in either mutual or disastrous ways. Paintings such as A Girl (pictured alongside this article) demonstrate the helpless feeling associated with rejection. This painting, in particular, is interesting in that it deviates from Renoir’s typical impressionist style, bearing more similarity to a Rococo or Romanticist style. I think this better demonstrates the agony of unrequited love, veiling the subject in a static darkness rather than his usual bright color palette. With the end of a relationship comes newfound independence — for some, it’s difficult to endure the feeling of loneliness, while others bask in the freedom of autonomy. Renoir’s portraits appear to speak volumes about the benefits of independence. His subjects almost never face the viewer, conveying a complex state of inward, independent thought. In nude portrayals, subjects appear more physically at ease, their dynamic poses implying a heightened sense of self-awareness and sexuality. Thus, it is demonstrated that in solitude, we are able to better reflect on ourselves and our romantic interests. We also build the confidence needed to comfortably navigate our feelings outside of relationships.
Renoir’s work provides a more traditional approach to romantic relationships that demonstrates how simplicity and quiet affection can sustain intimacy, all while hinting at the hardships of rejection and the benefits of solitude. If you don’t find success this Valentine’s Day, just remember that anyone can be your Valentine, including your friends and family. As a holiday, I think it’s best understood as an open invitation to reflect on the importance of the special person—or people—in your life, rather than a quest for instantaneous or superficial romance. Also, remember that artists like Renoir’s interpretation of romance may not align with everyone’s concept of healthy intimacy. His paintings predominantly portray white Parisian couples in heterosexual relationships, resulting in a lack of diversity likely influenced by preference, as well as historical and geographic context. There are still other artworks worth exploring that may better serve you as the reader in navigating romance, and I encourage you to find that medium. Until then, I wish you luck in your romantic endeavors and remember — keep it simple.
