Typically, weekend plans consist of some variation of me being pulled out of my room by friends to whichever gathering they have thought up. I always enjoy the opportunity to take time on my makeup and hair and get ready with everyone, but once we are out it’s not always the most fun to me.
One thing I have learned in my time being at Stevens is that at your core you will stay the same person. When I was younger I was really quiet and introverted. I was always worried about the people around me and could never find the words to talk. My parents worked very hard to push me out of my comfort zone and get me to talk openly and freely.
To an extent, they succeeded. I am now a much more outgoing individual. I will happily and shamelessly ask for a change in my order if it was mistaken. I will openly ask for directions and I will reach out to make plans with people several times a week if not every day that week. These things may appear trivial, but to me, they were big hurdles that I had to overcome.
Coming to Stevens, I was told that I was one of the more outgoing students. Now I do not necessarily know that this is true, but it was definitely a win when I could look at my brother and say, “Yes, I did make friends.” He had very little faith in me as he recalls my days in my room, reading, crocheting, or getting lost in a new hobby.
Those times, however, have in no way disappeared. I learn this more and more as each weekend passes. While I am still social and enjoy getting to spend time out with my friends, I really enjoy those cozy nights in. I feel I’m starting to settle into my old habits, the ones that make me, me. Granted, they evolve and adapt, but I am finding my comfy spot.
Now I no longer have to be pushed by my parents to make plans and am no longer drained by the activities of the weekend. I found a beautiful balance where I have cozy nights in with friends and occasionally dress up for a more festive weekend. I am comfortable here, and I think it’s good as I am both well rested and outgoing.
So, I have changed in a lot of ways over the course of my life, but I still came back to my nature and that’s okay. I tried to change myself for college, because as they say, it’s the time to reinvent yourself. I learned, however, that while I want to push myself out of my comfort zone, there is a very important balance where I don’t lose myself as a person at the root. Don’t be afraid to be yourself, whether that is the you you reinvented, or the one you lost along the way.
