It’s during late night frolics home that my deep love for Hoboken emulates through my body. As I walk past every street light (often in a delirious state of whimsy) and weave through the gridded streets, an overwhelming sense of calm washes over me — this is home, I know this. As a tour guide, it makes me laugh when prospective students ask if I think Hoboken is safe, because I have never felt safer anywhere. This city is not normal, every block feels like a part of the golden brick road leading me to an ideal future.
I didn’t feel like this at first. I never ventured past Washington Street my first year, but as I’ve immersed myself into this community, each street lends itself to you with a new discovery, friendly face, or place to cry. Walk a different street every day, discover a new business, stop only spending your money at Benny Tudino’s and try something new! This city has molded me from a chaotic and tempered 18 year old into a pre-law student of almost 22.
The sense of community is unmatched; the quarterly festivals, various block parties, and countless farmers markets give me hope that it is still possible for humanity to care for each other. Empathy is not made up — it’s what we possess when we take our earbuds out, put our phones down, and actually exist in public spaces.
Don’t tell me that you truly exist in public spaces if you have never gone to a cafe and just sat with yourself. Not with a soundscape blaring in your ears, your favorite podcaster, or a curated playlist, but truly and unapologetically with yourself. We’re so scared of looking like we are alone, that we do not allow ourselves the chance to “be together.” Allow yourself to “be together” with those around you in public spaces. Eavesdrop (yes I mean that) and listen intently — the most entertaining podcast you can listen to is your life! Gone are the days of approaching strangers and asking them where they got their shirt, offering them a perspective on the book in their hand, or recommending your favorite gelato shop. Why is this?
This decline of informal social ties has enhanced the animosity in our extremely polarized society. In order to understand the way someone thinks, or to change someone’s mind, you must understand each other’s humanity. Last Sunday, I tabled at the Hoboken Arts and Music festival registering voters. I probably made over 100 informal social ties, chatting with passerbies about the state of the world, agreeing and disagreeing, but always ending a chat with “I’ll see you, have a great day!”
Hoboken is the best place for this, the structure of our walkable city allows you to interact with strangers and familiar faces every day. After a few months of ingraining myself in the residential community here, I now have a community of “informal ties” that have grown in friendship and comradery. The council-people know me, I’ve met lawyers that are helping me with my law school applications, and my favorite business owners always brighten my day. Hey seniors, we are almost real adults. Let’s stop isolating ourselves to the boundaries of campus, and start acting like real humans who live within a vibrant community filled with interesting people. I challenge you to make one—yes, only one—informal tie a day. The odds are, one of these connections will become a seedling that you revisit, that grows into a tree with branches connecting you to other budding ties. This is how we make our “village.”
