The Victorian Language of Flowers was used for decades to relay feelings that people had a hard time expressing or were too embarrassed to share. The flower we will be looking at today is Camellia. The flower has full, gorgeous blooms that are contrasted by their dark glossy leaves. Native to East and Southeast Asia, the plant is primarily known for its beauty and landscape uses. Its blooms may not last year long but the bountiful leaves are just as beautiful. In the Victorian Language of Flowers, Camellia symbolizes longing.
As I’ve been finding my way in these past few weeks at Stevens, I’ve noticed a stark contrast in my life. It’s almost like the before and the after. Whether it be in or out of class, it’s just odd. I was sitting in one of my classes, the other day, when I started to miss my best friend, Mia. We would sit in physics class together in high school, and after each problem we completed, we would simply catch up. Talk about lunch or whatever stupid thing we saw. It made me miss her presence; her laughs, her smiles, her jokes and so much more. It’s difficult trying to find the balance of creating your new life and leaving your old. My life would be incredibly different if I had never met her, and now my only connection to her is through FaceTime and text messages. I miss going over to her house and seeing her family. Eating her dad’s cooking while I yap with her mom. Going down to her room and sleeping with the pillow and blanket that I’ve claimed as my own. Taking a better nap than she’s ever had. I miss walking into what has been my second family since I was six. Now, when I was home the other day, I was reduced to tears as I passed her house, unable to stop in and give her a bother. I long to be with my best friend again.
Camellia’s got their meaning from La dame aux camélias by Alexandre Dumas. In this story, there are two that are in love, the woman’s father frowns upon the budding relationship and does all he can to separate them. The woman, convinced, ends the relationship. She eventually gets incredibly sick and regrets the separation as she longs for her former beau on her deathbed.
Thankfully, my situation with my best friend is not nearly as dire. Somedays it feels like it, but I always know she’s a phone call away. Being apart from my loved ones is incredibly difficult. It often makes a person feel a bit depressed. In place of those small traditions at home, we are developing new ones now. My dorm has enough pictures of her for a small memorial service and my keys are adorned with a keychain from her school. We chat about all the chaos in our respective lives and come together to make each other happier. If she ever can’t pick up the phone, a Squishmallow stuffed animal that I got with her in a claw machine over the summer keeps me company. I long for the day I get to take a nap in her room again, but until then I am grateful for those memories to look back on.
