There’s officially less than a month until graduation, and the days have been slipping through my fingers. My bulletproof defense to any hangout pushback I receive from my friends is, “It’s senior year.” The catch? I’m not bulletproof. This has wreaked havoc on my sleep, stomach, and liver.
I’ve given up on buying groceries because I was only utilizing them as moldy fridge decor — anytime someone asks to get lunch or dinner I don’t want to say no. Although eating out is expensive and makes my wallet cringe, spending money when going out AND on groceries makes my wallet cringe harder. Thank you, tax return, for supporting my antics and enabling me to make the executive decision to stop throwing money into the grocery pit. I feel like it’s pretty textbook to eat like shit in college, and I am fully embracing that in my final weeks here. I have faith that I’ll figure it out when I have more routine post-grad and want to buy some boring and responsible groceries. I really miss vegetables though. Visiting home this weekend, I wanted the asparagus and brussels sprouts more than any Easter candy. (Yes, the Easter Bunny still visits me, for I am pure of heart, and full of childlike wonder.)
My days right now are senior design for at least three hours a day, usually more, plus frantically emailing about coordinating apartment hunting in a state I’ve never been to, and trying to ship my stuff to this mysterious apartment address that I don’t know yet. It all feels a bit backwards—the moving company needs a scheduled move-out date way before any apartments are actually available. Moving sucks, and I’m seriously pondering how I accumulated so much stuff.
My mindset surrounding the monetary value of my time has also shifted. I’ve stopped my dog-walking side gig, as it was increasingly interrupting the flow of my day, and much to my distress, preventing me from getting lunch with my friends. Being a student meant paying for the privilege of working, but now I’m stepping into a phase where my professional time has real value to others. It never didn’t have value, but the looming degree makes the outside world acknowledge it more now. I’m the most confident I’ve ever been. I wholeheartedly believe my contributions are meaningful and valuable, and that I can provide insight that people will actually pay money for. Writing it out, it seems obvious, trivial, and a bit sad, as I’ve worked part-time jobs and internships before, but I didn’t fully believe in my value until recently. I worked these part-time jobs and fought for these internships primarily to improve myself. The self-improvement compensation was certainly more than the lackluster financial gains I was receiving for my efforts. But anyway, no more dog-walking. Dog-walking is one of the highest hourly rates I’ve achieved, but my limited hours left in Hoboken are worth more to me than that number. I’m thankful that my effort, growth, and a bit of luck have come together in a job offer that’s allowing me to truly enjoy my final month here. Bye! I’ve got to go make the most of today!
