For many parents, sending their little ducklings to Snevets can be stressful. With rumors of rodents making the best food Snevets has ever seen, some interesting topics of the first-year course, and a crazy amount of wind, here are some quick tips for all the parents of the Snevets community to get involved.
The first way to get involved at Snevets is to call your little duckling at least 10 times an hour. If they don’t answer, the next logical step is to call every known department at Snevets, from ResLife to the Honesty Board, to find out where your little kiddo has gone.
Becoming a professor is another way to get more involved with your gosling’s education. After all, with AI making it easy for students to cheat, teaching should be the same. As a professor, you can be around your child, bribe their friends for information with better grades, and, of course, talk to other professors when your duckling’s grades aren’t straight A’s.
One last tip for parents to help their little gargoyle not be lonely at Snevets is organizing playdates! Back in elementary school, parents always figured out the logistics of their kiddos going to their friends’ houses for a playdate, going for ice cream after school, or having a sleepover! Rather than hear about how your little duckling is bored and has nothing to do over the weekend, schedule some playdate for them, like a sleepover in the “University Towers.”
I hope this helps all those parents out there who aren’t sure what’s happening in the little duckling’s life. And remember, this is just a start. If you have more ideas or concerns about your kids, call the wrong department 37 times an hour!
Disclaimer: This article is part of The Stupe and is satire.
