Campus was in a state of crisis this week after it was announced that this year’s Innovation Expo was being called off. In a statement, President Narfarvar said that, in a freak anomaly, there was no innovation to be found in the work of the Class of 2025.
“Utterly derivative, soulless, and uninspired,” were the words Narfarvar used following a preliminary survey of this year’s Senior Design projects. “My eyes were glazing over from boredom when I was looking at the finished posters. I fell asleep before I was even halfway through.”
Reactions among the student body ranged from outrage to relief.
One Mechanical Engineering student lamented that he won’t have a way to share his team’s work on a hydraulic flood protection system, which the school said was too similar to a project completed by a team that graduated in 2021. Similarly, one Music and Technology senior said to The Stupe that he was “devastated and angered that I won’t be able to perform the concept album I’ve been crafting for months.” Snevets said in response that the student’s songs were lame and all sounded the same.
“This is a great thing,” argued a Computer Science major. “Now I really have no work for the rest of Senior year.”
To reflect the current state of the university, Narfarvar also announced that the school would be removing the “Innovation University” tagline until the Class of 2025 has safely graduated. This year’s ceremony’s theme will be: “Good riddance!”
Disclaimer: This article is part of The Stupe and is satire.
