As a music and technology major, when I applied to Snevets, I submitted a musical portfolio. Submitting mine resulted in more opportunities for scholarships, and as a 19-year-old arts major, I love free money! I assume that most people do, so I’ve been trying to push any current applicants I know to submit some portfolios of their own. As a freshman, it’s an excellent time to start bettering your own portfolio, there are so many resources that make it really easy. Here are the secrets to an impressive portfolio and an even more impressive academic career!
The two biggest and best motivators for a music and tech major are, of course, money, and of finding a way to put in the least amount of effort possible! There is one major way to do this, and that is using AI for everything. I love AI, my least favorite part about being in music and tech is being involved in writing music. Ugh. There is nothing I hate more than working on a passion project and seeing it get better over time with effort. Just typing this now is giving me the heebeegeebees. Yikes. Using AI makes it so easy, I can just get lyrics and then generate a beat, and then it’s done. It’s that easy. Once I get good at that I can start releasing AI music to streaming to farm monetary compensation and oversaturate the market. It really is that easy. One thing that really bothers me is when people tell me to support small artists. Um… why would I do that? There’s probably a reason they don’t have a lot of streams. I’m doing the music industry a huge service with my hard work.
My HASS professor started talking about how young people have lower reading comprehension post pandemic. We read a study analyzing the new learning curves and potential reasons for this gap. For most students this was probably super boring to read, but I however, used the magic of AI to do it for me. Reading is easy! Being an academic weapon is really hard for most people, but I have mastered the art of doing absolutely nothing most of the time. I don’t understand why people come to college to learn, it’s so much easier to farm a mediocre GPA while building an even more underwhelming portfolio. Some say if you get a job you love you’ll never have to work a day in your life, but now you don’t even have to do anything! If you take my advice here, you won’t regret it.
Disclaimer: This article is part of The Stupe and is satire
