ERIN
Let me paint a picture for you: it’s two in the morning, you’re coming back from a long night at the library, and you walk into your kitchen. And there it is. Sitting by your dishwasher. A tiny, tiny mouse.
You shouldn’t be afraid! The house mouse (Mus musculus) is completely harmless. As someone from an extremely rural town, mice are just a part of life. I don’t bother them — they don’t bother me. In the end, it’s all just nature.
Personally, this mouse encounter happened to me. I ignored the mouse, the mouse ignored me. We lived in peaceful cohabitation. I even named him Pedro. We were friends. It was an unspoken agreement of mutual respect. He wasn’t hurting anyone. He was just…there. Existing.
Now, I get it — not everyone is comfortable with a mouse in their home. Nicole has made it very clear where she stands on the issue. But I argue: what harm is he really causing? Sure, he might steal a few crumbs here and there, but if you keep your food properly sealed, that’s hardly a problem. Plus, he’s kind of cute. I understand the instinct to freak out, but maybe we should appreciate these tiny survivors rather than immediately plotting their demise.
So should you befriend the mouse in your apartment? Absolutely. Just don’t touch it. Mice can carry diseases. Actually, maybe do get him outside your apartment. But don’t kill it! If you must remove him, a humane trap and a gentle relocation will do the trick.
Roaches, on the other hand, deserve to die.
NICOLE
You know how I said in the last issue that I have roommate attachment issues? Well, Erin seems to believe this extends to the mouse under our dishwasher (who I later found out was named Pedro).
Look, I get it. At first, they seem friendly — maybe even better company than me. But let’s be real: mice are the kind of “friends” who go into your cabinets without asking and eat all your snacks. And with groceries as expensive as they are these days, I do not have the resources to be handing out free food, let alone to a mouse.
I understand the appeal of acting like Cinderella and convincing the mouse to do all your household chores for you. However, this is sadly not reality. Mice aren’t in your apartment to be fairytale sidekicks. They’re there to make messes, steal your food, and generally be a nuisance. Imagine having a roommate who didn’t pay rent and just freeloaded off of you. That’s Pedro to me.
Unlike a normal roommate, Pedro also doesn’t respect personal space or schedules. You never know when he’s going to scurry across the floor at 2 a.m., turning a casual kitchen trip into a full-blown heart attack. He made his presence very known, scratching at the walls and darting across the floor just often enough to keep everyone on edge.
However, this isn’t just about Pedro. This is about principle. If we let one mouse stay, what’s stopping the rest of his little mouse buddies from moving in? I get why Erin sees the charm, but at the end of the day, Pedro’s gotta go.
So if you ever find yourself dealing with one of Pedro’s cousins, here’s my advice: seal your food, set some traps (humane ones of course), and find and block off any possible entry points — mice can squeeze into spaces as small as a dime. Don’t let them fool you with their tiny faces and twitchy noses. They are not paying rent, and they have got to go.
