A week ago I turned 20 and honestly, I can’t say that much has changed except for the fact that at the same time so much has. Being 19 and being 20 are not all that different except that the double edged sword of adulthood becomes even more sharper. In a way, turning 20 is a great thing because it is the beginning of the era that society preaches as your “greatest” years. In your 20s, you are supposed to have the finances, the time, and the health to do what you want. However, what no one talks about, or maybe they don’t talk about it enough, is the pressure of actually getting your life together and how everyone’s path can look different.
Looking back at my teenage years, my experiences were very different from what was portrayed in the media. The pandemic, the insanely competitive high school I went to, and my overall nerdy personality led me down a very different path from what a typical American teenager experiences. My highlights from my teenage years were meeting some of the most wonderful people who I still consider my best friends, fangirling over animes, bands, and books, and overall just spending a lot of time with myself. I didn’t hate it, but there was always a longing to experience typical teenager-ism. Turning 20 and entering a new chapter in my life, I now realize that once again my experiences could turn out to be very different from what I was told about. However, I now recognize that this is okay. That’s the other part of being an adult, that mentally, at least for me, I don’t give into the status quo as much and I now focus on what I like.
Another reason why I find it kind of relaxing to be entering adulthood is because in a way I have been adulting long before. Growing up in a household where both of my parents worked, I was always responsible for getting myself to places, feeding myself and taking care of all my school work. Even in college, I managed to accomplish a lot of things seen as part of the struggle into adulthood all while being just 19. I have traveled abroad by myself and with friends, I signed a lease on my very first apartment, I landed a great internship that can set me up for a job after college, and I am even on track to graduate early and get my masters. While all of this is definitely something to be proud about and a testament to the fact that I will be okay even through the more trying times, there are still so many things I lack. I still don’t have my drivers license. I am still hopeless when it comes to cooking, I definitely still call my mom too much to ask for help or advice or to just let it all out. It is certainly a very interesting mix, but what can I say? I’m just a girl!
In a conversation with my friends from high school, out of which I am the youngest, we were all discussing how the things that we think about are so different compared to our time in high school. Before our furthest thoughts would be “when do I need to turn in this assignment?” and now it is “I still need to find a job for next summer.” This is such a crazy transition but we all concluded that we are all working towards our goals, and it certainly has upgraded our hangouts from McDonalds in high school to nicer spots in the city. Either way, being 19 or 20, doesn’t make much of a difference. The transition from being a child into being a full fledged adult makes all the difference, and labels such as 19 and 20 define this transition even more. I, however, look forward to what the future holds but without the responsibility of paying the bills.
