Snevets has put out an official announcement stating that the campus will now be an open container campus. This means that the school is reverting back to its roots and is allowing alcohol consumption and the ability to carry alcohol freely on campus. This decision came as a surprise to many students, but they were more than willing to adapt to the new policy. Sightings of students openly carrying alcohol have increased exponentially since the statement was first put out. The student opinion on this topic appears to be positive, although the Stupe was unable to interview students as everyone was too busy hitting up the liquor stores.
The statement put out by Snevets does include an interesting clause: in order to preserve the university’s dry status, open container access will be halted every year for one day, coincidentally on Founders’ Day. This means that Founders’ Day, which occurs on February 23, is the one day out of the entire year that openly carrying alcohol will not be permitted. The Stupe reached out to the Dean of Stoodents, Kenald Wilsen, to learn why the open container policy is barred on Founders’ Day, but it was not possible to reach him as he hasn’t been seen since the announcement. According to anonymous sources, Wilsen doesn’t agree with suspending the open container carry access on Founders’ Day, and this is his way of communicating his views.
Disclaimer: This article is part of The Stupe and is satire.
