As the commencement ceremony date quickly approaches 2024, the administration has released a concerning announcement for this upcoming spring: commencement will take place over Zoom this year following many issues in the past years and while letting graduating students reminiscent of their high school graduation over Zoom in the height of the pandemic.
As announced by Snevets President Narfarvar, there has been much consideration from the disasters of commencement last year with an outbreak of COVID-1870 leading to a complete bottleneck of the Snevets Just-Okay Center and a majority of students having to leave Bohoken to avoid the onslaught of post-senioritis. Due to these issues, Narfarvar has decided to commence over Zoom for students. At the same time, parents must navigate a Discord video chat, which Snevets will post to DuckLink (the old one).
As a bonus to this news, Snevets hopes that the graduating seniors will also be sentimental about their time graduating during the pandemic over Zoom. With all hopes, the sentimentalism of being unable to be with their friends and family during such a monumental time will distract students from last year’s disastrous commencement ceremony.
Narfarvar hopes students will understand the need to regroup after last year and see the bright side of a virtual commencement without needing to travel back to Bohoken.
Disclaimer: This article is part of The Stupe and is satire.
