It’s official: Macbook users have been banned from campus. In a recent deal with Microsoft, Snevets received an undisclosed amount of funding for banishing the Apple-supporting students from the school. Shortly thereafter, all classes in the Schaeffer School of Business began reporting record-low attendance rates.
In a recent survey sent out to Schaeffer students, 63% reported that they would not be attending classes as long as the ban holds, with about half of those students reporting it to be a voluntary choice on their part.
“I’m not buying a product I don’t have stock in,” one business student told the Stupe.
Not all business students have reacted the same way to the ban, however. While many have refused to attend classes, others have persisted in their academic efforts, making use of the free Apple sticker that comes with every iPhone on their new Windows devices.
“I just switched to CS,” one student reported, “it kinda just makes sense. Having a Mac was like, ‘look good, feel good.’ Having a Windows laptop is like … not that. So I just switched to CS.”
Other departments at Snevets have been affected by the ban as well, with HASS’s Visual Arts Mac Lab being shut down.
“Yeah, it’s kinda lame that they took away the Macs, but I only use them for Canva these days anyways,” one HASS student reported.
It remains to be seen how the administration will deal with the protest of students against this ban. For now, Schaeffer students are free to enjoy the new HASS Lab, which has been converted into a free coloring space with swipe access granted to both HASS and Schaeffer students.
Disclaimer: This article is part of The Stupe and is satire.
