In a shocking turn of events, Apple’s newest iOS update has switched the bubble message colors. Previously, when one iPhone user texted another iPhone user, the message bubble colors were blue. When an iPhone user texted an Android user however, the message bubble colors would be a difficult-to-read neon green, prompting ridicule towards Android users for making the lives of iPhone users slightly more inconvenient as this only affected them. Now, iPhone to iPhone text bubbles are that obnoxious shade of green, causing panic nationwide.
To investigate how this crisis was affecting the Snevets student body, The Stupe sent reporters to Crabbio Center, home to all of the business majors, as that is where most of the iPhone users dwell.
One student complained, “I can barely read any of the text messages from my friends, and I keep accidentally leaving group chats thinking that I’m with a bunch of Android users.”
Another student commented, “My friends keep ghosting me because they think I switched to Android. I tried sending them an article about the iOS update through Apple News, but they refused to hear me out!”
Reporters for The Stupe also spoke with Android users at Snevets to see how they felt about the crisis affecting their peers. Generally, many of them were indifferent, citing that Androids allow users to customize their text message colors anyway so the green vs. blue bubble debacle never actually affected how they viewed their own messages.
An Android user did want us to note, “I think this new iOS update is an important reminder that message bubble colors literally should not matter. No one cares if you use an iPhone or not. iPhones are pretty mid anyways. Why would you buy a phone that is capable of messing up this badly? The weird wallpaper settings should’ve been your sign to switch.”
Regardless of everyone’s feelings on the matter, there is no doubt that with this change, iPhone users will have to find a new way to bully Android users now that their bubble color system has toppled.
Disclaimer: This article is part of The Stupe and is satire.
