Upon discovering that nobody thought, “Ah yes, like the avocado.” Our steadfast school of humanities has once again decided to rebrand. No expense was spared in hiring the best consultants and assembling a task force composed of faculty, students, and Narfarvar himself. After months of hour-long meetings in the How penthouse, several finalists for the potential name change were selected. The top contenders were as follows: HTITS, HCOCK, HFUCKYOURMOTHER, HHUH, and CAL. The option of merging HASS into SES and calling it a day was also considered. Dean Dean Snu promptly refused, stating, “I would rather sit through every single Senior Design presentation from the School of Business.”
The final decision was, of course, in the hands of the Board of Trustees. At a board meeting in Australia, since Florida was decidedly far too close to Hoboken, HASS was renamed HTITS. Pronounced “60k tuition really isn’t that bad for a philosophy degree,” The Snevets School of Humanities, Technology, Innovation, Tits, and Sociology more accurately captures the cutting-edge research and “whatever else they do in that Morton building.” It’s not just the board that is pleased with the change. The student body has been generally receptive to the change as well. The name change also comes with the minting of a new motto for the school that all Ducks can rally behind; “We are the tits!”
Disclaimer: This article is part of The Stupe and is satire.
