Have you ever heard of silver iodide? It rings a bell, right? Well, that is because Snevets has the largest stockpile of silver iodide in the world and chooses to flaunt that fact on every tour they give. The tour guides can never quite explain why we have it or what it’s for though. Well, I looked it up and found that it is used for cloud seeding. To condense droplets of water in the air into clouds. I did some on-site investigative reporting to find out that the Silver Iodide is stored in enormous chambers between McLean, just a block or two away from the Environmental Engineering department.
Now that we have the means, what is the motive? Snevets has been erecting a water fountain between Palmer and Howe to spruce up campus but in the meantime, it has only been an eyesore for students walking to our gorgeous dining hall and Snevets knows this. They have been cooling off the weather to keep students indoors and away from this ugly part of campus. I can promise you that right as the fountain is finished, the weather will warm back up, just as the administration planned.
Clearly, Snevets has both a means and a motive to control the weather, now it’s time for the meat and potatoes, how they’re doing it. Snevets has been seeding clouds off the coast of North Carolina, decreasing the temperature of the air over the ocean which then gets blown up the coast to cool down Hoboken. This has given us a March that was just about the same temperature as January – an anomaly of anomalies for the tri-state area.
Disclaimer: This article is part of The Stupe and is satire.
