Each and every one of the buildings on the Stevens campus has its positives and negatives. Whether it’s the sparkling towers or the crusty old Edwin A. Stevens, certain features bring about a feeling of confusion, bewilderment, and even anger. So, let’s unpack the red flag features of our beloved buildings.
Starting out with the good old library. As someone who does not frequent there often, I can say this is because it is, simply put, ugly. From the dim lighting to the overwhelming feeling of chaotic openness, the ambiance feels simultaneously suffocating and lackluster. This feeling of anxiety only increases when you attempt to use the printer.
The MPK complex, home to the School of Humanities, Arts, and Social Sciences, is one of the few buildings on campus where you can find a fellow woman due to the more balanced gender distribution. However, you will not be finding this fellow woman in the bathroom, because women’s restrooms do not exist in the majority of the MPK complex. One of my favorite pastimes is leaving my class on the 3rd floor of Morton to walk the length of three buildings and two sky bridges in order to pee.
Every time the registrar releases the class locations for the upcoming semester, I hope and pray that I have a class in the basement of Gateway South. I mean, who wouldn’t want to have their 8 a.m. math recitation in a windy-maze-like basement that is also home to the commuter showers? Additionally, the toilet that never stops flushing is like music to every Stevens student’s ears.
What is the North Building? Rumor has it that every Stevens student is still trying to find it. I allegedly had a class there once, but I got lost somewhere between Edwin A. Stevens and MPK. But if you need any more convincing of the building’s malice, I’ve heard the desks in NB 105 are so sloped that your $2,000 laptop can conveniently slide onto the floor.
Is it a stained cement block or a relic of the 1960s? Hint: it’s both; it’s the Howe Center! Many things could be said about this building, like how the ghost of Colonel Johns roams at night or how the right elevator is currently completely covered with plywood, but personally, I would like to challenge you to find any specific administrative office.
Have you ever seen anyone get in or out of the middle elevator in Babbio? Me neither, allegedly, it’s just an empty shaft. To be honest, it’s probably where Attila lives when she doesn’t have to attend sporting events. If you want to avoid accidentally impeding Attila’s residence, you could take the stairs! Except you can’t, because the stairs to each floor are cleverly disconnected from each other, meaning you have to walk the length of each floor before reaching the next staircase.
Finally, we have our fancy schmancy, state-of-the-art towers. Are you into podcasts? If you aren’t, I highly recommend getting into them if you are planning on living in these towers. The elevator wait requires you to pick up two or three additional hobbies for your hallway-elevator-waiting downtime. I actually have a solution to this red flag, though, that I would like the whole student body to consider! What if we make it a social rule that you can only press a button for a floor if the one for the floor below it or above it hasn’t been pressed? It’s not a big difference for you to walk from floor 11 to floor 12, and if everyone does this, then I feel like the elevator wait times in general will be so much faster.
Anyway, this article was mostly humorous, but it should be said that our campus is one of the most beautiful ones in America. From the skyline to the green spaces, we should be grateful to experience such beauty.
