College years feel like quasi-adulthood — more independence than living in my parents’ house but not yet the responsibility of a full-time job. At many stages in my life, I’ve thought to myself, “As soon as I reach this next marker, I’ll feel grown,” or, “The people older than me have it all figured out, I’ll get there when I get to high school.” There are traditional markers of independence that can objectively gauge personal independence, but they don’t address the overarching problem: do I feel ready to leave university?
Dr. Jean M. Twenge discusses generational trends in her book iGen. She found through 80 years of survey data that many of the markers typically associated with adulthood (obtaining a driver’s license, getting a job, dating, and having sexual partners) are occurring later in life for younger generations, Gen Z and Millennials, compared to Gen X and Boomers. She says, “Eighteen-year-olds look and act like fifteen-year-olds used to,” and attributes this slower cycle of life to longer life expectancies and technological advancements changing the way we communicate (though that’s a topic for another day). In some empirical sense, the average Zoomer is less of an “adult” than their parents were at the same age.
There is more to adult life than a career, but at this point, it seems to dominate my small talk. Financial independence is not the only form of independence necessary to provide for yourself. Can you cook for yourself or keep a nutritious diet? Can you keep your home environment clean? Can you communicate well with your roommates or keep up relationships with friends and family even when you’re busy? Can you think beyond what is happening in the present and make a plan one month or three months in advance?
I felt the most change in myself when I was living alone last summer. This was the first time I was completely in charge of my daily schedule. I had responsibility; I needed to put in enough hours to make rent, and my research project was task-oriented, so I had the freedom to work on it whenever I wanted as long as I met my goals. Implementing a regular schedule was up to me, not my class schedule or employer. In my work ethic, there was something that switched. I realized I’m not waiting to act until I know what I’m doing, I’m making educated guesses and acting on it, knowing I could be wrong. It’s more successful than I thought it would be; being the person to try to solve the problem is sometimes the largest part of the issue. During SAT prep, I remember hearing advice to try all of the problems and come back to ones that are taking longer. Making some progress on multiple areas of the same larger task, i.e., completing the SAT, gets you much further than sitting stuck on a problem you don’t know. If you can put in time to attempt the problem and evaluate if the results seem reasonable, that will get you most of the way there.
I feel more adult-like than I did this time last year. I am better at considering what is being asked of me and how that fits into my schedule, how much energy I will need to devote to it, and estimating accurately when I can get it done. It doesn’t do anyone good to overpromise and underdeliver; look at what you have upcoming and consider when you will be able to devote the appropriate amount of time. I feel better at planning ahead, but I don’t know where I will be this time next year. I discovered a passion for research, and I’m not opposed to continued education, but I worry about financing it. An engineering degree doesn’t seem like a frivolous investment, but it’s still a hefty one. I’m considering expanding my job search to fields that are less interesting to me, but it doesn’t seem worth it to pursue a job in a career path I know I don’t have an interest in. Regardless of where I am a year from now, I feel more prepared to take on challenges and look forward to whatever comes my way.
