With spooky season descending around the Stevens campus, no one is safe. Spirits lie in wait for students to haunt, and new dangers are spotted gurgling at the surface of the Hudson. Lying at the heart of campus and replete with new freshman blood, Davis Hall is a sure target. Many students have taken necessary precautions to board their windows, cleanse auras within rooms, and even keep the lights on while sleeping. However, a more sinister plot beyond imagination has manifested: little orange creatures with eyes full of pure hatred, or as they are known in our world, roaches.
Roaches were first spotted in Davis Hall on August 27. Since then, the Stevens administration has taken the necessary steps to eliminate the creatures, including sending exterminators. It is unclear what substance they were using. However, every now and then, roaches still appear to be crawling the hallways. An unnamed student who resides in Davis Hall stated that they “noticed that the roaches were bigger and more widespread.” Another student also claimed to see roaches with red eyes in the middle of the night.
The Stute decided to launch an investigation in response to the hysteria. A Stute staff member snuck into Davis Hall late at night and followed the roaches to see their trajectory. The roaches appeared to start infiltrating the ground level before entering the staircase to the next floor, all the way up to the fifth. After wiggling into every room, the roaches traveled back to the first floor. This led to the greatest discovery of all: the roaches entered the lounge in Davis Hall, their suspected lair of operations. The Stute staff member claimed to have seen a person with a witch hat and an extremely pointy nose in the corner, whispering to the roaches. Before a picture could be taken, the roaches started to attack the Stute staff member, who had to retreat quickly to escape with their life.
This experience left most of The Stute shaken and terrified for the safety of Davis Hall’s residents. It is clear now that the roaches are not a coincidence, but rather the doing of one individual. The investigation has reached a roadblock as The Stute is unsure of how to proceed. We have asked President Favardin for a comment, but his office has been unusually quiet. To ensure that freshmen stay alive on October 31, we advise everyone to go home. There’s no telling what kind of horrors these roaches will inflict in the upcoming days.
