The places I’ve traveled, the things I’ve learned, my goals, my dreams, my family, the friends I’ve made, the big wins, the small wins, the plane rides, the car rides, the bus rides, the tournaments I’ve won, the losses I’ve had, the bad times and the good times: everything has led me to where I’m at right now.
As I was walking off the wrestling mat after my last match, I began to choke up. The thought that my wrestling career was over came crashing down. Until that moment I had pushed it away. I went about everything like normal, knowing that when it was all over, I would be met with a rush of emotions, except I didn’t really know how I was going to feel.
I spent just about 20 years wrestling; I simply don’t know what life is like without it. Coming out of high school I was unsure if I even wanted to pursue wrestling in college. The season is long and consuming. From October to March, everything I did revolved around wrestling. In the other months, wrestling was always in the back of my head. To take on another four years didn’t seem like something I wanted to do. So, I ended up not wrestling in my first year of college. Well, only for about three months. When the season came around and I saw my peers gearing up and competing, the itch came back. I didn’t regret my decision, but knew that I would have to return.
That year I competed in two open tournaments training on my own. The next year I transferred to Stevens. However, my outlook on wrestling was different. I wasn’t going to approach the sport the same way I did in high school. In high school, I was extremely strict with myself. Set in my ways and not letting myself deviate. It helped me achieve most of my goals, but also made me miserable. From cutting weight to training, I was not pleasant to be around. The crazy thing is, I wouldn’t change it for the world. But starting new in college, I wanted to find a balance.
After four years of college wrestling, I think I achieved that balance. The balance of working hard but not hating the sport. For wrestlers, it becomes easy to hate the sport. Especially after many years of doing it. The give-to-get ratio is not even. Wrestlers give a lot more than they get. Their training can seem to be pointless. What I learned from wrestling and what helped me to love the sport again was to enjoy the process. Understand that the bad days hurt more than the good days feel good. That failing is part of the process but learning from the failures is the reward. One of the greatest feelings I got was when I would execute a position that I previously failed at. Entering my college wrestling career my main goal was to enjoy my final years of being able to play a sport competitively. For wrestlers that is harder than it sounds but I believe I accomplished my goal.
Before my last match, as I stood on the mat waiting to start, I looked up in the stands and saw many faces — the faces of my family, friends, and long-time supporters of my career. They began to cheer, and I had to look away. My eyes started to swell. I laughed at how great of a moment it was for me. How happy I was that I decided to wrestle in college. How thankful I was to the sport that gave me so much. Then the referee called me in to start for the last time.
