The prestigious New York Fashion Week (NYFW) event is to be hosted in Snevets’ very own, overhyped, glorified conference room: Techflex. Snevets was chosen due to its clearly superior taste, with the mismatched buildings and furniture being revered by experts for being “avant garde” and “a choice.” When asked how much money Snevets paid to make this happen, a representative from the official Fashion Board of America (FBA) stated, “no comment.”
As many know, NYFW is typically a highly publicized, star-studded event, hence why many individuals have expressed concerns over potential security issues. Techflex has nowhere near as much security as other locations, like Spring Studios where the event is typically held, or even Pierce Dining Hall (no DuckCard, no entry).
The logistics of the event were also of concern. NYFW generally has “more than 230,000 visitors” causing critics to wonder if Techflex’s capacity can even accommodate the event. But, if Snevets can force all of the UCC tower residents to all use one elevator when the others are (often) broken, then The Stupe is sure they can find a way to host NYFW.
As for the special guest stars of the event, local celebrities from our very own Snevets campus will be in attendance. Of course, the Editor in Chief of The Stupe, the nation’s premier news source, will be there. Other stars include Attila the Duck and Pearl from Pierce. For a special segment of the show dedicated to Snevets, President Narfarvar and his dog Margarita will be modeling pieces created by the Fashion Association for Marketing and Entrepreneurship (FAME) club.
Unfortunately, rehearsals for the event have not gone well so far. Techflex has been said to “lack the grandeur of Spring Studios and looks like any old conference room,” according to insiders who wish to remain anonymous. One insider noted that “Margarita has been a bit of a diva during rehearsals” and another believes that the location “will lead to a fashion disaster. We lack the space and the mood to go big on our designs and in our production for the event.” Another critic of the event bemoaned that “they’re taking the NY out of NYFW! Is Bohoken not just a discount NYC!?”
Since the event is scheduled for September, participants still have more time to prepare. As the FBA proclaims, “Come join us this September for what is sure to be an …interesting… fashion week!”
Disclaimer: this article is a part of The Stupe and is satire
