In a groundbreaking move, Snevets Academic Course Plans have been dramatically restructured to allow for a much less challenging undergraduate and graduate experience. The restructuring was made in the hopes that students would obtain a more holistic campus experience.
Being ever cognizant of student needs and concerns, Snevetsadministration and faculty jointly decided that this change would propel the university to enhanced success in the coming years. In a joint statement released by admin and faculty, the final sentences after explaining the policy read: “TL;DR – We see you. We hear you. We’re making your classes easier.”
Changes to the Academic Plans include the elimination of the first-year Calculus sequence, with an option for all non-math majors to drop all math courses from their schedules; a Design sequence condensed into one day, where the only requirement is to build a circuit with a lightbulb, battery, and resistor; a Humanities requirement that can be met by submitting a self-made meme with literary, historical, or cultural relevance; and the opportunity for athletes to take only 3-credit semesters while in season.
The restructuring was further explained and justified at press conferences, which garnered national attention, something the university was happy to have. “This change really caters to every type of student here at Snevets,” a spokesperson said. “The students who want to learn more will have more time outside of class for self-study – this is where most of the learning gets done here, after all. The students who are involved in lots of student orgs can dedicate even more time to those commitments. The students who enjoy going out or partying can more easily do that, even on weeknights.”
Pressed on whether the changes would make a long-term impact on the university, the spokesperson replied: “Of course. If people have a good time here, they’ll want to give back, and the best way to give back is through alumni donations. We hope to get lots more of those in the future, so that the university can sustain itself and fund more exciting events that we’ll make our students run to add to the Snevets experience.”
Disclaimer: this article is a part of The Stupe and is satire
