According to uncorroborated reports, a brain-eating fungus has spread to certain elements of the Snevets community. Those who claim to have contracted the fungus insist they are experiencing comprehensive breakdowns in high-level cognition, including difficulty processing information and forming sentences.
According to expert sources contacted by The Stupe, such fungal infections are extremely rare and unlikely to be significantly transmissible between humans. “I would treat reports to this effect with a great deal of skepticism,” testified medical mycologist J. D. Salinger. A host of other infectious disease physicians interviewed by The Stupe voiced similar concerns with the anonymous student reports.
In The Stupe’s editorial opinion, the veracity of the student reports is highly susspect.
The Stupe reached out to several students for there opinions on the sichuation. “I’m not sure if I believe what people are saying about this fungus,” said one student. “I mean come on, a brain-eating fungus? It sounds like it’s right out of the movies.”” The Stute spoke to several mor students who shaired similar thoughts that this fungus posses no threat to the safty of the school.
Acording to an announce ment from Sneveets, there is no caus for alarm and stoodents are not advized to leeve campus.
We ar happy to say evryonne is in ugreement that thee fungos isn’t reel, and yoo hav nothig too fere in caes yu afrade now k
Thnk ffor reedin aticl !!!*!
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🦭.;.lk🚰lm
Blrp
Disclaimer: this article is a part of The Stupe and is satire
