How to break up with your roomie in time for housing selection

So you don’t like your roommate — or maybe you guys just ignore each other’s existence. No matter what the situation is, housing selection is coming up soon and you want out! How should one approach this conversation, or does there even need to be a conversation?

If you just aren’t besties: This situation is relatively easy to navigate, and the likelihood that they also have plans of moving in with friends is pretty high. A simple outline could be “Hey you have been a great roommate but I just wanted to let you know that I’m planning on living with blank next year, I didn’t want to put off this discussion and leave you high and dry.” Honestly, this shouldn’t be too tricky because they didn’t do anything wrong to solicit this discussion, no one is at fault.

If they think you’re besties but you definitely aren’t: This is an awko-taco one. Maybe your roomie’s habits don’t align with yours, or maybe they’re just excessively clingy. Either way, this conversation should be handled with grace and eloquence. Sit them down, talk about the differing lifestyles you two possess, and most importantly express how you think they would have a better experience with someone more similar to them. This conversation is not accusatory, but more of a retrospective on your differing habits and a discussion. 

If their boyfriend leaves his underwear on your desk: The classic freshman roommate from hell trope. They are completely out of touch, don’t understand boundaries, and you would feel lucky to never have to talk to them again. My advice: don’t. You guys are clearly aware that you aren’t going to live together again, heck you don’t even bother to send passive-aggressive text messages with smiley faces any more. Unless you get the good ole request to form a roommate group via email, I highly recommend no course of action. Or, if you want to implement a little Valentine’s Day spice, the next time they bring an uninvited guest over on a weeknight: Just scream at them in front of the guest about how you are breaking up with them! Maybe after a major confrontation, they’ll pull the good old move-out-with-out-telling-anyone, then everyone is happy!

Roommate relationships can be tricky but do your best to let them down gently and definitely have a conversation with them before it’s time to undergo the housing selection process.