When I picked My Dark Vanessa, by Kate Elizabeth Russell off of the shelf, I never expected it to be so unbelievably dark and disturbing. Russell writes a story about a girl, Vanessa Wye, who experiences such trauma and is so detached from reality that it makes you question your own reality and all the people in it.
15-year-old Vanessa Wye, an intelligent, creative, young, and mature soul, is pressured into having an affair with her 42-year-old American Lit teacher, Mr. Jacob Strane. The novel introduces the reader to Vanessa as a high-schooler attending a prestigious academy, going through the inevitable heartbreak of a ruined friendship, trying to find her place within society and with herself. While on the journey of finding her sense of self, and also beginning her sophomore year of high school, Vanessa begins receiving a certain kind of attention from Strane — him touching her by the shoulder and knee, giving her explicit books and sexual poems to read, receiving compliments about her appearance that are obviously inappropriate for a teacher to make. The persistence of Strane’s actions intrigued and manipulated Vanessa, causing her to believe that their involvement is, quoting Vanessa, “fate.”
What makes the book even more grievous is the way it’s structured, as each chapter alternates between the early 2000s and 2017 — 2000 being the year their involvement started and 2017 being the current year in the book. This novel holds parallel universes, as the reader is acquainted with 15-year-old and 30-year-old Vanessa at the same exact time, looking at the world through her eyes. Reading the chapters, one after the other shows Vanessa’s painful journey to realizing the severity of the abuse and grooming she went through. Vanessa’s detachment from reality, truly believing that she was Strane’s perfection, does not completely mitigate in her adult years, no matter how hard she tries to move on and shed the pain burdening her soul. Vanessa still keeps in contact with Strane, and he continues to burden her.
More than 15 years after Vanessa’s involvement in high school, another former student of Strane’s, Taylor Birch, publicly accuses Strane of sexual abuse, at the height of the #MeToo movement. Taylor reaches out to Vanessa to share her story, as well as Janine Bailey — a journalist, writing about the accusations made against Strane. At this moment, the meaning of “fate” completely changes for Vanessa, unraveling the burdens she kept inside herself, driving her and Strane both towards the “fate” they deserve — obviously, in different directions.
Reading My Dark Vanessa opened my eyes in such a way I never thought possible. No individual should be a victim of such abuse and grooming. The book just so happens to make the reader question every encounter they have ever had, question the intentions of everyone they know, and realize that trauma is, unfortunately, a partner for life.
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