What nobody tells you about your first semester on campus, whether in your sophomore or freshman year, is how badly you end up missing home. It’s kind of like the elephant in the dormitories. Even here at college, surrounded by plenty of people who are similarly busy with classes, clubs, and schoolwork, it’s all too easy to feel alone being so far from where you grew up. And from talking to people from all over, I realize this isn’t even a sentiment unique to someone from a different state; rather, it’s an inherent aspect of going to college.
Loneliness is a funny thing because while you might feel lonely and all by yourself, there are also plenty of other people who feel the same way. And so, in that regard, you’re not alone in feeling lonely, which is kind of a funny thought.
In my case, I realized that I wasn’t the only one who felt that way after conversations with lots of different people here at Stevens. My brother tells me that it’s all a part of the growing process; whenever I missed the old days so severely I started to question how anything could ever feel right here since it was–and is–so different from all I’ve ever experienced, I’d turn to him for some sort of explanation as to why the world was suddenly upside down. And he’d assure me that all the funky and slightly awkward things I felt were just a part of the growing process, and sometimes that process means experiencing painful things too: growing pains.
I can’t write that I have completely surpassed all this turmoil and no longer feel lost or isolated, because that wouldn’t be honest writing. However, what I can say is that I now realize that loneliness is not inherently a terrible thing to experience; next to failure, it is one of the greatest teachers we can have. Through the turbulence I have learned how to communicate these things and have come to understand that the struggles we face in the now gives us the strength in the future to overcome challenges we might not have otherwise been able to. And, if anything, these moments of instability teach us who we can turn to when we need a good word of encouragement, or support, or perspective.
All this to say, the emotional rollercoaster college puts us all on is exactly that – a full-on Six Flags-esque rollercoaster. Buckle your seatbelt so you don’t fall off, put your phone in a safe place so you don’t lose it along the way. The twists and turns will leave you nauseous and woozy but high off an unbelievable amount of adrenaline, bringing you back once more for another round no matter how close you were to hurling your guts up. The highs will make you feel as if you’re about to fly into the outer atmosphere, whereas the lows will have you convinced that you’re about to crash into the concrete sea spanning the floor below you. No matter how it turns out, the experience stays in your memory for ages, rent free, and you’ll relive it over, and over, and over, until it stays like a worn picture in a pocket of your mind. And at the very end of the day, you paid a pretty penny to be here, so you might as well make it worth your while.
Second-Year Freshman is an Opinion column used to explore the unique experiences of Sophomore students who studied remotely their freshman year during the coronavirus pandemic, and are now experiencing campus life for the first time during the 2021-2022 academic year.
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