Better than yesterday

I’ve always done my best to live by this idea. To be better today than I was yesterday. It’s a fairly simple concept and falls directly in line with the idea that we must not compare ourselves to others, as hard as that can be. Even comparing me today to me yesterday can be hard since I am typically my harshest critic. In an ironic sense, if I think about myself compared to everyone else I usually get myself down, but when I treat myself like a different person I can go from just letting myself down to becoming my own bully.

We work day after day in order to improve, but oftentimes we feel as if the day has been completely wasted. As much as I preach self-improvement and striving to do better every single day, it’s not always easy. Just like everyone else, I have my days where I struggle just to move away from my mindless activities because there is usually something that I don’t want to deal with, or the week has just been too much. While I may not show it on the outside to everyone, because I always want to put my best foot forward, there are days where I stumble and fall.

I’ve often contemplated the idea that in the way we have a conscience, there’s another little voice poking around in there to make us fall into a pattern of self-doubt. It’s a difficult line to walk, and I often fall off. Sometimes to the point where it feels that getting back to the line is impossible. Being critical of oneself shouldn’t make you feel worse, it should give you the mindset to say that you can be better. In the way we all should listen to our conscience, we need to temper that little devilish voice inside to a point where it doesn’t rule us. It should motivate us, without driving us down a path to self-destruction.

But once you learn to control that voice, it can become empowering. It can be the voice that gives you the reason to get up each morning just to prove it wrong. Every time you prove it wrong, it just becomes so much more satisfying. Although, you have to be sure to keep it in check as to not fall back into your old habits and let that voice turn your mind into a hurricane.

And while many people complain that “being better” is way too vague, that’s kind of the whole point. Who gets to say exactly what “better” is aside from me? Better could be reading a few more pages of the book I’m working through, or even taking the time to let my mind rest. It all depends on the day and anticipating what tomorrow may bring.

But that raises my main concern that I’ve never quite wrested with. I change the goalpost almost every day. Why can “better” be staying practically the same, yet at the same time it can be a shift in mindset, a simple goal accomplished, or even finishing something that I’ve been working at for years? Why are there so many different versions of better? Perhaps it’s because I’m setting up to be even better the next day than I would have been without taking a small break.

So maybe I shouldn’t be comparing myself to who I was yesterday, but rather looking towards who I could become. Taking advantage of that little voice to say “better starts now” and “I’m going to prove you wrong”. Shifting my thinking to chase after my future rather than letting my past dictate who I become. That may just be the key.

Senioritis is an Opinion column written by a current Stevens student in their last year of study to discuss life experiences during their final year at Stevens, and other related subject matter.