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Virtual simulation of senioritis

With the closing of campus and the move to online classes, the senior experience has been tragically cut short. The Innovation Expo has been cancelled, commencement has been postponed, and seniors are no longer around on campus to experience the typical “senioritis” in person that usually accompanies one’s last year of undergraduate studies.

To give graduating seniors the usual experience of “senioritis,” the Office of Snevets Life is currently in the process of organizing online Zoom meetings for seniors to come and virtually experience senioritis. In these Zoom meetings, graduating seniors can do all of the typical senior year things, such as complaining about how “done” they are, telling everyone “I’m outta here, y’all,” or taking time out of their day to stare longingly into the distance while contemplating their future.

According to the Dean of Students, Mr. Dean Kneelson, “While we are all sad that the senior experience had to be cut short, we can make the best of this by transitioning to a virtual senior year.” Adding onto this, “Dr.” Sarah Klown pointed out that “in these Zoom meetings, seniors can do all of things they can do on campus like looking nostalgically at old dorms and academic buildings before being sent off into the great beyond.”

Going off of that, the Office of Snevets Life will be formatting the background of the host’s Zoom screen to display pictures of academic buildings, dorms, and the How Center so that seniors can stare at them and think “oh boy, I remember the things that happened in there” and “these newcomers don’t know the history that went on in there.”

Moreover, the Office of Snevets Life will also be inviting freshmen to these Zoom meetings so graduating seniors have the opportunity to look at them and think “wow, they look so young” and “was I really like that as a freshman?”

These online Zoom meetings for graduating seniors are scheduled to begin Wednesday, April 1, 2020 and last until whenever commencement will be. While the plans for commencement are currently unclear, the Division of Student Affairs (not the bad kind) is currently drafting contingency plans for a virtual graduation ceremony where each graduating senior will be given a virtual avatar that will be included in a live-streamed simulated ceremony. In this simulation, seniors can walk up to the stage by clicking “walk up,” receive their degree by clicking “take degree,” and then go back down to their seat by clicking “walk down,” Even though the senior year experience could not be lived in the usual way, the virtual equivalent will supplant the in-person way.

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