Here’s one way to explain the weirdness of this year’s presidential election for the Student Government Association: Mercury is in retrograde. Yes, the first planet of our solar system, whose mesmerizing trail in the sky has haunted astrology circles as far back as the mid-18th century, could be to blame for any unusual phenomena happening in the universe.
No evidence exists to suggest that Mercury’s planetary orbit could interfere with human life and playground presidencies, but that doesn’t stop an increasing number of Americans from looking to the stars for guidance. According to a recent National Science Foundation survey, 44% of 18- to 24-year-olds say that astrology is somewhat or very “scientific,” and this documented rise in occultism is affecting politics.
Back in March 2019, when Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez shared her birth time with a self-described psychic and astrologer, Arthur Lipp-Bonewits, who in turn shared her birth chart with what can only be described as Astrology Twitter, mainstream media went wild. Outlets from The Cut to Vox to Allure speculated what Ocasio-Cortez’s astrological chart could tell us about her fitness for political office.
“AOC’s Aries Moon indicates that she’s emotionally fed by a certain amount of independence, self-determination, and spontaneity,” concluded Allure’s Jeanna Kadlec. “But that independence always finds a way home.” Meanwhile, Lipp-Bonewits told The Cut’s Madeleine Aggeler that the stars predicted that Ocasio-Cortez’s “career in politics is likely to last the rest of her life.”
Ocasio-Cortez’s decision to share her birth time is an unprecedented move for a political figure. Hillary Clinton has famously avoided the question, sparking years of debate among astrologers.
But now, there is no need to speculate over the birth charts of the 2019 SGA presidential candidates. Each candidate has voluntarily offered The Stute their astrological data, which has been assessed by a team of political astrologers to determine their fitness for office. Below is a condensed feature of each candidate’s astrological report.
Sam Molla and Adrian Castellanos
Sam Molla — a London-born Gemini — can adapt quickly to new situations and generally gains plenty of friends and social contacts, her Sun sign reveals. “She is an opportunist,” said our team of political astrologers about her Sun sign. “She can express herself easily and tends to learn quickly. She is welcoming and gentle. She likes travel and intellectual work.”
Molla’s Moon sign — a predictor of what she is really like when by herself — is Aquarius, which means she breathes new life into everything she does. She is a lifetime student of human nature, the stars say, and loves to analyze the finest details of what people do. “She is modern, original, inventive, non-conformist, and is likely to bring new life to everything she does,” astrologers said.
Astrological charts remind that an Aquarius Moon sign can be eccentric with sharp mood swings and has a complex love life. “She may waste energy by taking on too many things,” birth charts say, and “she lacks persistence in achieving set goals.”
Adrian Castellanos, her running mate, has a Moon sign that finds security in the little things in life (Libra). He has a very good memory and loves to read scientific or medical studies. Sometimes, though, his Moon sign makes him “quick to become annoyed, upset, worried,” our astrological reports say.
From what is seen with the stars, this larger-than-life ticket will set high-reaching goals and work diligently to achieve them.
E.J. Hannah and Jason Buckman
E.J. Hannah, born in the early morning of December 24, has been in the Senate of the Student Government since he enrolled at Stevens. His Sun sign, which reveals his ego and identity, suggests that he is honest, reserved, circumspect, honorable, and strong-willed. “Quietly ambitious within the realms of the possible, he likes and takes on responsibility,” said an astrological assessment. “He can work in the social domain.”
Hannah’s Sagittarius Moon sign indicates that he likes to throw himself into the unknown and is willing to take risks. “He is agile, tough, and enthusiastic,” said the political astrologers.
The stars warn, though, that from Hannah’s Moon sign, his tendency to do whatever it takes could mean “risking everything to achieve his goal.” He could possibly be too audacious, bold, and rebellious.
His running mate Jason Buckman shares a Moon sign with Hannah, which suggests that this Sagittarius-Moon-duo might be willing to explore and test new, bold ideas. Unlike Hannah, Buckman’s Sun sign — Leo — is the most dominant, spontaneously creative, and extrovert of all the zodiacal characters. His interest in all of life’s offerings occasionally makes him non-committal, so he could jump from one commitment to another rapidly.
It is apparent from astrological readings that this duo works well with each other and has a high potential for success.
Brandon Siedmann and Simon Pepa
Brandon Seidman was an early morning birth in mid-November, making him a natural Scorpio Sun sign. Seidman’s Sun sign means that he exudes physical energy and courage, strong passions, and especially strong sexual powers.
“They’re not in the slightest intimidated by anybody or anything,” our astrological team said. “Confrontations are not a problem. In fact, talk to any Scorpio about their lives, and you’ll probably be in awe at all they’ve gone through.”
Seidman’s charisma, according to his Moon sign (Pisces), is marked by his imaginative, sharp insights. “He is impressionable, with an abundant imagination,” the stars say. “He is gentle, warm, humorous, artistic.”
It should be noted that while Seidman has a large imagination, it can often get him in trouble. “His unhealthy imagination might lead to disastrous outcomes,” our team said. Constantly burdened by a cacophony of demonic voices in his head, Seidman can sometimes lose focus and become easily distracted.
Simon Pepa, his running mate whose Moon sign is Libra, is sociable and popular. He has good judgment and is intelligent and reasonable. Unfortunately, the stars reveal that he has instability in loving relationships and may give too much weight to the views of others and to public opinion, which could challenge him in his role as Vice President of Operations.
Overall, this team can work well together to achieve ambitious goals.
All personality readings were generated by a group of astrologists, and The Stute reminds its readers that astrology is not a legitimate form of science.
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